I want your fingers to reach for mine
to dip inside a glass of wine
trace my lips and let me
taste the nectars of forbidden fruits
bring out the secrets of hidden truths.
I want your fingers to map out
route 66 on my epithelial.
Add 3 more and take me on route 95
south as a journey together.
Let your fingers, or their aide
trace figure eights and the letters of the alphabet.
Wind through the maze of my nerves.
Let your fingers whisper songs
on the small hairs behind my neck
down my arms, through the rivers
that flow delivering the message of my desire
let your fingers ignite fires as they linger and dive inside.
Point your way through the middle
lets the bells ring as rainbow of colors
flash around me.
| I actually liked this one a little more than "aftershocks". But I do have to say they are both well done for the most part. I did get kind of lost when you started on the routes taken, but I got the general gist of it all. This was more erotic and definitely got the point across. What I find hard with this subject matter is to be able to write about the passion itself, and to accomplish that without sounding trashy. :) LOL. Good stuff.||| Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by .:eVe:. | [ Reply to This ] || I liked this a lot...it was a very passionate poem...|
I liekd the way it ended too...with the one word on each line thing. That worked out really well...
This was a very origional topic...very good job on this poem.
|| Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ] || well, how rude. Didn't really get the big fuzzy with this. The first stanza was quite strong and clearly set the mood, but you lost my attention with the crazy maths that was going on in the second, i'm obviously missing something there. On the third and forth you picked up the pace again, but too late for me I fear.||| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ] || wow i wasn't expected this when i read the title. this one was ok, but i did like the way u made it flow. very erotic. i liked the highway thing u did to. u ended it well.||| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ] || ummm... Im not sure that I quite understand the poin of this poem. To be honest it kinda bored me like.. about half way through it... I actually looked at my fingers and found alot more entertaining than this poem. Oh, Im sorry that sounded really mean. umm... let's see, I guess I just didnt see the deeper meaning that this peom had to offer.|
|| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ] |