Sprinkles by Von Django

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Submission Name: Sprinkles dots

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Author:	Von Django
ASL Info:	32/M/UK
Elite Ratio:	3.79 - 119/148/32
Words:	55

Class/Type:	Poetry/Passion
Total Views:	238
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	434

Description:
Whatever springs to mind...

Sprinkles dots

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'It's a perfect night
Like Vietnam'
Her gravel voice grating
With pornstar charm
She put her finger to my lips
Tracing napalm on self indulgent wrists
The sticky nectar dripped from slit throats
Like sticky kisses on unsent envelopes
Well what's wrong
With some sadistic thinking
Sprinkled
Here and there
She said

Submitted on 2005-11-10 15:16:05 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  it's late and i really can pin point what I like about this poem all I can say it that I'm pinning it up on my faves list.

Great Work.
| Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
  damn this chic sounds potent!...honestly i had to read this twice because it shocked me first time round! really well description of her voice and charm, but gota agree on the one comment about the repition of "sticky"...well done with the extremely sexual undertone that you have going throughout the whole poem.

*keep spreading the love*

nadia
| Posted on 2005-11-20 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
  Sounds like a visitation of the fatalism of a bad relationship about to become much, much worse. I sense a 'Fatal Attraction' undertone with brutal sex, death threats and pet rabbits cooking in a pot. If you meant to describe a battle of the sexes with nuclear weapons, you've certainly nailed this one to the wall. Nicely done.
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  Good write

I liked the use of words that were totally different than what youd expect talking about love
It kin of made me think that maybe you or whoever your writing about just wasnt sure of a certain relationship

very good write
Take Care
Ron

If you get a chance please take a look at some of my poetry and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey, where you been?

I was really impressed with this one, it's in your face and bizarre, and really stops the reader in their tracks as they realize what you're saying.

Great stuff, mate, I missed your writings

be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to say that this is kinda okay.I really like the beginnning,but the ending...It just doesnt fit...I guess...Well,other than that,it's ok.It isn't one of my favorites,but I like it.Great write and good luck!God bless. - Lindel :)
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by LRRolins | [ Reply to This ]

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