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Under The Rainbow

Author: angelfyre
ASL Info:    17/yes please/here
Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 254 /238 /76
Words: 116
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 925
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 705



Under The Rainbow

Sweet mists float off his tongue.
Just sitting on his beach and reading his eyes.
He asked me today if silhouettes still dance on our horizon.
My simple yes and a growing smile made him remember.
Two of the purest souls
lost, yet found in the purest love.
We can sing.
We can laugh.
We can love.
His string on my finger
reminds me to change the note on the door.
I transform the tears in my eyes
into one more minute with my lover.
So many opened doors behind shut ones.
Somewhere under the rainbow he found the key
He saved me.
We can sing.
We can laugh.
We can love.

Submitted on 2005-11-10 18:47:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Very nice... Emotional... A tad too short for my tastes though... Nto that I want to read a 200 line poem, but it could've done with a bit more detail... It just left a lot of stupid, unimportant questions in my head pertaining to the piece... But still, I hate to be left not knowing things and not even being able to infer anything either... I mean, I get the overall piece, but I'm just a detail oriented person I guess... Anyway, other than that, I think it was very good... Actually, I know it was very good... Keep it up
| Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Meckes | [ Reply to This ]
  That is very beautiful and very well written...i like the way the scence is set and what youve written conveys to me that youve found someone just pours out from the so happy that you have..its great...stormy :)
| Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
  You expressed your love for your boyfriend perfectly with this write

Good Job
The line I really liked
His string on my finger
Reminds me to change the note on the door

That was deep

Thanks for sharing this write
Take Care
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  OK, I can't find much I don't like about tell the story with a wistful nostalgia, 'bot the only thing I picked was the triplet repetition, but that's just me.

Very nice indeed, and well done

Be Happy

| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

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