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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: just seeing youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lost and alone
    ASL Info:    19/F/Sandiego,CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.4 - 159/140/58
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1118
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 556



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsjust seeing youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You alway seem to make me laugh.
    No matter how I'm feeling.
    Even when I'm sick.
    Just seeing you,
    always seems to do the trick.
    Even as a friend,
    you always manage to,
    put me in a better mood
    Especially, when all I feel like doing
    is eating food.
    No matter where or when,
    I always seem to be,
    thinking about you.
    Your the first thing,
    that comes to mind
    when I wake up.
    And the last thing,
    I think about when
    go to sleep.




    Submitted on 2005-11-10 22:28:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Oh god. the end kills me i'm sorry to say i give it a >_< icki. It becomes a forced rhyme when you get to the food part and then it ends so funky?!?!?!?! I don't know what to say except I hope you have better stuff to come...
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]
      it should continue and not stop right there and the line "Especially when...is eating food" was embarassing. You've got the flow but you don't use the right words.
    I myself ain't that good a poet but the comments above was not a critique, it was my honest way of writing my 1st impression.
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by obaid | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    January 10 07
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