The Betrayal
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Description:
I'm trying to explain that our (humans) deeds are not pure and are evil in nature due to which God is angry. I also tried at places to emphasize the severity of the punishments that will be given to wrongdoers in the after life.
I know i went a bit religious in this work of mine and i hope that everyone tries to understand as well as try to relate THEIR deeds (whether they are wrong or right) with my poem.
I know i went a bit religious in this work of mine and i hope that everyone tries to understand as well as try to relate THEIR deeds (whether they are wrong or right) with my poem.
The Betrayal
It couldn't get worse here on earth To its own enemies it(earth) lends its heart They destroy the earth and they show it no respect- They make it a battleground and shower it with death! Sometimes it's helpless and cry-it does But no one heeds to it 'cause no on loves it Foul are those creatures and cursed they was! The end is nigh- Diseased they die They've forgotten His words and upset He is Only the righteous shall get the shade of His trees! They've strayed from The Path- The fallen angel the followed To these creatures no mercy'll be bestowed! They've failed their test- Lost they are. God's best creation- Human's they are! |
Submitted on 2005-11-11 00:05:49 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| Very powerful. I liked the whole concept of humans being God's best creation yet we show no appreciation. Great write :) Ciao, }i{Renae}i{ | Posted on 2006-11-12 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ] | This was a real cool poem mann. It is the same in Islam. People get punished in the afterlife. I really like this part . . . . . | They've strayed from The Path- The fallen angel the followed To these creatures no mercy'll be bestowed! It was very familiar to me. NIce job. ~ G FREAK ~ >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by GothamFreak | [ Reply to This ] | I love that poem. It just gave me this feeling in my chest. Very clever poem. | They've strayed from The Path- The fallen angel the followed To these creatures no mercy'll be bestowed! My favorite line. Good job, i'm loving your work inkpen | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ] | You didn't go overboard at all, mate! How come I've not read this one before? Oh, hud-hud-hud. That's cuz you've just submitteed it recently! It's really good, but I'm becoming a bit concerned about your mental well-being... | | Posted on 2005-11-13 00:00:00 | by Saaber | [ Reply to This ] | I also loved the last stanza! | Keep up the good work! You expressed your deeds and those of the "humans" very clearly. I am glad to see that there re people who could say that their sinners and wrongdoers in many ways. Very, very original. I feel the same. | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by _Shax_ | [ Reply to This ] | They've failed their test- | Lost they are. God's best creation- Human's they are! I love this stanza. I always feel as if the last stanza has to be the best. It's the last chance you get to leave an impression on the reader. You did that. It was great. | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ] | |
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