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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Loving Meet Longingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1262
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1271



    Description:
       This one is just where I am at. It is about understanding both halfs of this thing called love. It seems that each great love has equal longing associated with it. In fact, they are both expressions of the same emotion. I think this works as a clever metaphor, but there is also something much deeper. I hope you enjoy it.


    ps: I have wanted to use the word bifurcate in a poem for a long time.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLoving Meet Longingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She set up a meeting
    for the estranged twins.
    It was a momentous
    and much anticipated event.

    She begins, "Loving
    meet Longing.
    Longing
    this is Loving."

    There is
    instantaneous
    recognition
    and reconciliation.

    Briefly the siblings
    join hands and
    just meander about
    in joint musing.

    Even though
    they have been
    apart for years,
    they need no speech.

    They are
    two bodies
    sharing the karma
    of one soul.

    In their destinies
    most of the days
    are meant to be
    spent alone.

    Their paths again
    bifurcate and
    make a blunt end
    of the reunion.

    It is difficult deciding
    which one to follow
    so she cries
    as they part.

    She lives vicariously
    as the mother
    of sisters that
    cannot get along.

    She can't understand
    why twins
    tend to think
    they are so different.

    Although they are grown,
    she still
    has trouble
    telling them apart.




    Submitted on 2005-11-11 07:32:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Chrystine this is an accomplished poem, but I am confused as to why the mother can’t tell the difference between longing and loving….
    this verse says that the twins believe they are different

    ""She can't understand
    why twins
    tend to think
    they are so different."

    is it your dilemma? I think not..
    ..you suggest I your final verse that she will never learn…so sad for her.

    ''Although they are grown,
    she still
    has trouble
    telling them apart.''

    but you can tell them apart I feel sure.
    this is a clever thought-provoking poem
    open to many interpretationns and interesting commets
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ]
      the classic problem of lust vs love. They are only joined in a true love I suppose, other wise one masqurades as the other further confusing the viewer while leaving the rest of the world untouched.

    I also liked the part about shared karma, as lately I have been thinking about my own karma regarding lust and how I have been blindly led by lust masquraded as love. Its made me realize a need to reach more inward and less outward and to find what I'm searching for within me instead of in vain at every appealing woman.

    I really agree with this part:

    In their destinies
    most of the days
    are meant to be
    spent alone.

    That fits my experience well, that they rarely come together and ultimately you end up spending alot of your days alone, wondering why you so easily followed either (though usually longing I would imagine), though a heart broken by love is a hard thing to mend.

    It is difficult deciding
    which one to follow
    so she cries
    as they part.

    Once again I agree, everyone wants them both, I know I do. And yet it seems like you get one or the other or neither, more often than not.

    I think everyone has trouble telling them apart, like identical twins with opposite personalities. You never know which is which until you are already involved in some form.
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by vax | [ Reply to This ]
      Very cool, Chrystine. But isn't longing another idea representing desire? I'm sure your contemplation of this piece came to that knowledge. And then desire in aligned with sex so often it has lost many shades of meaning.

    It would be interesting to pull contrasting ideas and write on them. We wrote reflection papers on "love vs. responsibility" in a religion class in college. But you'll notice it's not an exact opposite, it lands love right on the physical plane.

    The point of all that is, that love cuts off our heads so well we don't see the truth. I'm not complaining, not one bit, I just think the completeness of ourselves is the original idea of longing.

    There is so much here, for me to think on. A great idea and I love how you've written in this framework.

    peace and love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      This is indeed a clever metaphor. Making them twins separates it from poetry that merely personifies emotion. Loving and Longing even sound like names that people would give twins (like Nicole and Nicola), so that's cool. I admit that it is hard to tell the two apart sometimes. I like how they're estranged too because you need both (Without the other, you would likely have loveless sex or sexless love). I commend you on your use of bifurcate too; I think a lot of people on this site should use less common words. Anyway, words aren't my friends after I've been awake this long, but you did a good job, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a short pice but to the point of the message your trying to convey> I think you did a great job being so descriptive with such a short piece. I hope o see more of your work and I plan on checking out some of your other stuff. I hope that you get a chance to do the same.
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by Thornful Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. this was very original and well-written. personifying love and longing as twins with a mother who can't tell them apart. that sounds like me although I don't have twins. I just never could tell them apart either! nice work here, Chrystine!
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Brilliant observation of the subtle differences between 'want' and 'need,' and the difficulties that arise for those who can't quite tell the two apart. This was as inherently sad as any romantic tragedy played out on any stage throughout the ages. Some loves exist only to burn themselves out as easily as infatuation, others are eternally longterm. You've addressed the two very well. Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Extremely Clever

    I really liked it
    Longing meets loving

    You could possibly expand on this and say they were soulmates who had Twins as well
    Calling them
    Beauty
    and Forever
    Great Write
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is indeed a most clever and wonderful poem. I think you did an excellent job with this and the metaphor is awesome. You know, as I read this, it really got me thinking about these two things, loving and longing, and I realize that this is indeed so true. One really doesnt exist without the other, they go hand in hand. I like how you used twins to compare them. I love the ending here as they part and the mother wonders how each one could think they were so different, because even though they are grown, she still has trouble telling them apart. And yeay for the use of bifurcate in this poem. It is perfect here. I love this poem. Excellent. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      That was amazing. My favorite line "They are
    two bodies
    sharing the karma
    of one soul. "
    I think that was so deep, and I like the ending how you said that you couldn't tell them apart after all of these years, and it was sad to think that their destinies were stopping the two lovers from being together. The words you used were marvelous, Chris, and I really like, you inspire me to become a better writer, and also how they met each other and your confused about whethere you love him or just long for him, but then you realize that you don;t have to because they are two parts of the same soul. I am definetely adding this to my favorites list, please don't delete it.
    Peace and much love,
    Aya
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]


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