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Once more, My heart gets stabbed, This time, Will be much more suffering, And I can’t do anything about it, For the reason that, Someone else is there, And I am here, Trying to breath, Through a stabbed lung, I suffer, Trying once more, To forget, To wash all the blood, And wash every memory, I am standing here, In a blood pool, Until I breathe my last breath, I will suffer… |
Wolfie This write is very well written I hope that since this is written so long ago you are feeling better I really liked the way you captured the emotion of one who is living with a broken Heart Once again I am happy with how easy you express your inner emotion You are very good at that God Bless Ron | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] | This was intense and I love reading your writes, each of them is so honest and to the point yet you still have imagry and lots of emotions I'm gonna take a wild guess and saying the feelings passed? hope it did...some things never completely go away. I loved this...and I'm really glad we're friendz too | ![]() peace | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ] | Your peotry is really intense, and although I am in the same age group i find it hard to relate to, although I have felt this angry and hurt about people and situations in my life i have decided I don't want to be angry. I read some of you earlier stuff compared to this and the imagery is really good now and the poem structure is better. I find poetry so cathartic for this sort of thing and I can see you use it in a similair way. But I also find poetry as a way of creating my emotional responses and hence becoming in control of them. | | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Lafferty | [ Reply to This ] | good write man i wa sgoing through old poems and i came acroos one of your comments decided to see your stuff and im really happy i did (happy?) oh well um yeah read your jurnal i can relate so much why dont they a$$-f-kers comment (they would have censored my languge) they never take anyone under 17 serious! um love sux but i think ive learned to love again cos my new bf is so awsome so hate to say it but (dont hate me for this) you will get over it belive me... | write back, claire | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ] | Oh yes love hurts. Badly. This was good. Although i'm me so that's all i can say. Sorry i sucked at commenting please forgive the losted soul. | ~~Danni~~~ | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ] | Yeah.Love kills.I hate it so much.I wish I never fell in love.And thanks for making me realize that and that I should never make the mistake again.Good write. | | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by ArtichokeMosher | [ Reply to This ] | This is a very intense poem that describes your feelings very well. Trusting people with your feelings is always so very hard to do because so many times you end up really hurt like in this poem. But on a brighter note, you do learn valuable things from these experiences and makes the next time around more focused and you are more aware of yourself and your feelings. I must say there are too many commas used in this poem. Honestly I dont think you need any of them in this poem. They only cause the reader to pause where they really shouldnt pause and disrupts the overall flow of the write. The content is good and you express your feelings well. Nice poem. Take care. | Lorna ![]() | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ] | |