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The Lonely Girl


Author: crazygothchika
ASL Info:    15/f/oh
Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 21 /36 /9
Words: 181
Class/Type: Poetry /Cutting or Mutilation
Total Views: 966
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1107



Description:


What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


The Lonely Girl



In the dark corner
the silent pipes leak
sit's a little girl
she does not speak.

A lost and lonely girl
who sheds a single tear
thinking she has no purpose
and everything to fear.

Mom and dad don't really care
she doesn't value her life
never anyone there
to help her w/her strife.

Tripping over problems
all throughout the day
if only there was someone
to help her on her way.

A single friend in life
that really truly cares
but no one is found
at her fragile heart it tears.

A sad and lonely life she lives
so she sits in the corner and cries
cuts her arms a little
and wishes that she could die.

Now her frail body
lies limp and dead on the floor
a pool of blood beneath her
her misery is no more.

So listen to me my dear
I'm trying to make you see
for that girl in the corner
that lonely girl is me!




Submitted on 2005-11-12 09:13:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Wow I love the poem lonley girl it was great . I like you're writing !
nice work .
brianna - buh-bye-

have fun writing.
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by IndependentGirl | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! touching...very. The feeling of being alone, I relate to. Really catch's my attention. Sends the message that you need to reach out for help. Nice write...keep it up :)
| Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by TwinkleToes | [ Reply to This ]
  i totally agree with shax on this one there isn't a fault in it definitly 10/10 and its goingon my faves list Wow i have a really short attention span and normally long poems dont keep my intrest but this one did i cudn't take my eyes off the screen... Wow lol

my fave stanza is:

'A lost and lonely girl
who sheds a single tear
thinking she has no purpose
and everything to fear.'

this one put images in my head it was that good i also sums up my life completely so i know what your going through (yea i know when someone says that it is really annoying but heh)
anyways keep writing youve got alot of talent
take care and if you ever need anyone to talk to even though you dont know me i'm a good listener.

izzi x
| Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by fallen_angel384 | [ Reply to This ]
  Definalty a favorite.I can really relate to this and this is really how I feel inside.I loved it...just...wow...great!

[-Candace-]
| Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by ArtichokeMosher | [ Reply to This ]
  This is an obvious cry for help so get some. My words are harsh and mean nothing to me but maybe they will mean something to you...
xoxox
Reeses
| Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! This was really touching! It made me want to cry. So full of feeling and deppression. Her sadness owerflowing the poem. No confusion. The flow of the poem is perfect. I loved the last stanza:

"So listen to me my dear
I'm trying to make you see
For that little girl in the corner
That little girl is me"

It brings the message out clear. There was nothing wrong with the poem.
5 stars on this. Keep up the really good work. It was amazing! :)

_shax_
| Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by _Shax_ | [ Reply to This ]


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