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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: digestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: snufthepunk28
    ASL Info:    21/f/ak
    Elite Ratio:    4.5 - 244/178/68
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 768
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 482



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdigestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i feel scard again to speak.
    i know you well listen.
    its like all the presure is swelling up inside of me.
    so much i want to express and yet i can not. when i find time to tell you your ears are gone.
    sometime i dont want to fight through this mess. i dont want to talk and communicate. sometimes. i simple need to digest.
    the sad and even the emotions i dont know.
    in those times i dont really expect you to react simple be there.




    Submitted on 2005-11-12 19:40:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know if I like this or not. I like the concept, but the way that you presented it could have been better. Please go back and fix they typos you made. That would make it a lot easier to read through in one piece. Then again I am somewhat of a grammar nazi. :)
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      hello FeliciaÖ.

    ok first I would fix up these lines a little:

    i know you well listen.
    its like all the presure is swelling up inside of me.
    so much i want to express and yet i can not.
    when i find time to tell you your ears are gone.
    sometime i dont want to fight through this mess.
    i dont want to talk and communicate. sometimes.
    i simple need to digest.
    the sad and even the emotions i dont know.
    in those times i dont really expect you to reactÖ..

    simple be there.

    ok instead of my usual going citing each and every error. Iíll give you the entire corrected version. you may use it or not your choice.

    I know you will listen.
    It's like all the pressure is swelling up inside of me.
    so much I want to express and yet I cannot.
    when I find time to tell you your ears are gone.
    Sometimes I donít want to fight through this mess.
    I donít want to talk and communicate.
    sometimes, I simply need to digest.
    The sad and even the emotions I donít know.
    in those times I donít really expect you to reactÖ..

    simply be there.

    Where the bolded letters are that is where you can focus your corrective measures if you choose to do it. now in the context I feel the level of frustration and the want to talk but there is no outlet, that can be very frustrating and hurtful. and the call to simply be there is never asking to much from someone. itís a good write you have here, tidy it up if you wish. take care Felicia ,

    ~mike
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      It is good to be able to put your frustration on paper, especially when there is no one there to listen.

    I am not clear from this whether some of the words are misplelled or interjected as a device.

    you well listen

    My mind says you will listen, get it plays off swelled in the next line.

    it might also work with a pause or line break between well and listen

    you well... listen

    Just thoughts. Thanks for sharing it.

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-11-13 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]


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