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Author: Car va g o
ASL Info:    35/M/NY
Elite Ratio:    7.84 - 180 /185 /45
Words: 150
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1325
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 970


Physics anybody?


"I am given to you the way
a proton is given to an electron"

Did you know
physics could be poetry?

I am often nursed by the fragments
of matter split in a moments collision
scattering the quirks of my mind
into verse to converse
a position or indecision
fueled by a sultry atomic rhetoric;
The sophistry of time and place

I see vector
so vast the order of details
could fill the universe and past

I imagine
I am riding eternity like a wave
poised on the edge of infinity
into the nothing
he said I could not see.

chaos swirls in my coffee.
he smiles randomly,
I confess
he is confusing
and bedevils me
when he defies convention

but he is freedom
from time and rhyme
and I forgive him
I do

Submitted on 2005-11-12 19:56:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Only a poet caould think of physics as poetry!!! i managed to get a BA hile avoiding that hated and much feared class, but I like the ide of this one...
| Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
  Yes, I did know physics could be poetry...

I'll be back


la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la da da dum... right is this long enough to post now??
| Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by barefootangel | [ Reply to This ]
  Me again. I'll avoid going the "smarty-pants" route here like the others who commented (I'm comfortable with the size of my intellectual penis). I dig this one, man. I've always liked the language of physics and mathematics (I have a poem called 'Kicking Shroedinger's Cat' that I'm particularly proud of), it has a certain kind of power to it. Some of your word choices here make that point perfectly: vector, eternity, infinity, chaos, proton and electron. All of those words have an arcane feel to them, like they're answers to mysteries, things we can't see that govern our existence. I like how you give chaos the final stanzas, which seems to give him more "power" (if that's the correct word). Much respect for chaos. My favorite lines in the piece:
"fueled by a sultry atomic rhetoric;" and the pair,
"but he is freedom
from time and rhyme"

I wish I could think of some suggestion to improve this one, but nothing comes to mind. It stands as is, I think, and I wouldn't go changing it much. I do find myself wondering about the speaker's audience, though. It the first stanza, he refers to a "you" (as in "I am given to you"), but the "you" is never mentioned again. Is the "you" chaos? If so, I'd say change it to him, just to avoid confusion. Other than that, I got nothing.

Keep up the original thinking and inventive writing,
| Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by DevilDinosaur | [ Reply to This ]
  Firstly, points off for using quirks without quarks....

Chaos without entropy....

Edge of Infinity ? well so many theories have been defined by that edge of, so I will give you that one ;-)....

physics and poetry, why would you assume they would not be a match? you have also included advanced mathamatics as well you know....

forgive him? do you? and why is forgiveness even necessary? if you accept chaos and entropy as the natural order of things (both accepted theories, as is gravity) - our lame attempts at control are comical at the very least....

interesting Marco....


this one will swirl in my brain for while....
| Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by glasshill | [ Reply to This ]
  First off, I really liked the comparison between physics, (something normally seen as strict, orderly, and having function not expression) to express something that seems completely contrary to the entire science stern-ness.

I get the image of someone who seems almost consumed to the minute with the physics that surround both him and us. He sees things through physics.

Upon reading it maybe for the 5th time (it takes a while for me to pick things up) it seems 'he' sees the universe and all its parts as a person or a thing that kind of smiles at him, in a sort of way a dad might smile at his son for thinking that you could catch a cloud with a net (bad comparison but I hope you get get the idea). The sort of smile that means, you really don't know anything yet.

okay I think I am done blabbing, theres my little opinion. hope this helped at all

| Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by MystMaker | [ Reply to This ]

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