The emeralds that cut through your eyes
are a pleasant toxicity to my affection.
The depth in your soul
continues to remain unsaid...
The redolence that I breath
could only be from you.
The love that I have, the impatient heart beats again
I could only do that for you....
The moments we have, the cold barrel tucks between
I could only do that for you....
The consciousness between us, the warmth of your hands,
the sting of your touch breaks me again.
Promise to hold you....promise again... I will be yours forever....
Love, preciously kept undead..
The words used in this poem were simply inspiring. The contrast between the meaning you gave them and the connotations associated with these words in modern society was astounding. The poem really brought to life a sort of eerie beauty, and I found it chilling, yet somehow darkly beautiful. That was a neat play on words, keep it up! This one's going on my favorites! @>->- Jenn
well i like this poem ... cuz of the wording and because it has a good structure... thats why i like it .. and obviously you have a lot of good writings and poems .. i like the word syou use like :
"The emeralds that cut through your eyes are a pleasant toxicity to my affection. The depth in your soul continues to remain unsaid... The redolence that I breath could only be from you."
This is nicely done. I love the mix of what is normally considered negative and positive in your work like "pleasant toxicity to my affection" and talking about love as if it were a vampire; that's really unique. Underneath the dark images, it's just a sweet love poem. You write so-called dark poetry well, and that's hard to do, so kudos for that. I hope you're well, Amy
well wut can i say . its a good writing.. well becuase it has good wording ... and good context and express well ur ideas...ill check out all ur writings.. good!
Well, this isn't the kind of stuff I'm used to you writing, but it's still just as good. I liked the concept of the piece. I've never really seen you write about love though. Good job, and welcome back to being able to write!
This is an interesting poem. I like how you refer to keeping love undead...sort of a fresh way of puting it. Having someone to feel this way about it always a wonderful feeling. I think you did a good job expressing your feelings in this poem and I especially like the first two lines of this one. Very well written. A good poem. Take care.
wow once again you blow my mind with your writting. i seriously think your going somewhere with this. i enjoyed the whole thing from the emeralds that cut through you eyes to love, preciously kept undead..
Submission Name: Precious Undead
