In the wilderness of uncertainty
clad in rags mutely colored,
Stands a man praying silently
with eyes tightly covered.
All around stand the agents
Oblivious to his devotion
they put prices on disasters.
High above with silvered skin,
leaving contrails in the sky,
Flies the stratospheric sniper,
in it's wake the children die.
Yet below the constant clamor
there remains the words intoned,
By the man praying silently,
standing still as if of stone.
Every day he seeks his Maker,
eyes closed with open mind,
Asking only loving guidance
and a sip of selfless wine.
In a world that lacks forgiveness
let us laud the humble man
Who judges not his brother,
nor fears what he can't understand.
| This was awesome...very deep I loved the first two stanzas:) the ending was also admired. wow this flowed perfectly within itself...the meaning here was amazing...I loved the imagry too...yeah so that I won't feel stupid cause I"m not the first to ask what are "contrails" lol. anyway good write. keep writing.||| Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ] || Dan|
This is a very well written poem
You captured the theme you were getting out Perfectly
I really enjoyed this as it really captivated my mind
And Thank You Dan for your recent comments
And know I will be looking forward to more of your writes
|| Posted on 2005-12-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || Deep stuff, Dan, deserves at least three reads to see exactly what you're saying.|
It's a poem for all times, too, with the modern armageddon brought by silver snipers, yet, centuries ago, the same words could metaphor the swarms of arrows loosed in the crusades.
I guess war is war no matter the century, and men such as you describe are rare indeed.
An excellent, thoughtful piece, well done
|| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ] || Ahh smoke trails...i dont know that ive ever heard it used in that way before but then i know nothing about planes or jets etc...it is however very fitting :) Probably more so than the words I associate with contrails lol...makes much more sense...but then i thought that leaving contradictions in the sky was interesting too rofl...thx for clarifying this for me... stormy||| Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ] || This is a pretty good poem you have here Dan. And packs a powerful punch with the message as well. Maybe a couple places where the flow was off just a tad but really no big deal to me. I think overall this is very well written and expressed. I dont have any problem with the word contrails either. I think the word fits very well with the stanza as I assume you are meaning cloud-like trails. The last stanza here is my favorite part of this poem. Very nicely worded indeed. Overall, a good poem. Take care.|
|| Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ] || Contrails= contradictions or even contracts...contary...contrast..there are many meanings for this word...and in this piece either of the first two (see above) would fit just fine...this is nicely written...i both love your message and the way that you are able to convey it...i really enjoyed this...a really hearty meal as far as use of words go...and i could picture the man standing silently praying...loved it!...stormy||| Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ] || I like the sentiments expressed and the simple and direct way you have expressed them..a question though, what are ''contrails''?|
and a problem line ''standing still as if of stone''.
how about '''standing as if made of stone.''?
either way...i like this poem a lot
|| Posted on 2005-11-13 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ] || I give this a >_< rating or a "meh!". I am not putting myself above you and i hope you know that. I like your poem yet it sounds choppy. I look forward to reading more of your stuff :) Check out my poems and leave me some comments.|
|| Posted on 2005-11-13 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ] |