life springs from the phlegm of the universe’s cough
his chest rise and falls like Greece and Rome
the worm is tense and taut
sigh star dust
a flash of light
a comet came and kissed me
between my thighs
stars fell into my red raw eyes
“I had enough!”
said this tunneled mind
conscious gets me every time
I can take no more tonite
the worm is limp, flaccid
coil worn through space and time
and the trees fell way to desert
to clear the view of god
life springs forth
when my eyes are shut
severed worm is split intwo
matter and midst
electrons alike
I cannot seem to drink you
sigh, star dust
my inner eye
rolls in back
my conscious mind
conscious gets me every time
this is why I cannot reach you
It is brilliant I think. The astronomy motif goes a long way. First I think the use of space and/or the Universe is in a sense can be interpreted as a Someone.
IF not that then you are merely giving the universe an identity which you use to allow the reader to relate spiritual seduction-you stand in awe in contemplation of the immensity of the universe. Well less immensity then beauty I think.
THe use of your words though I find quite original and of course the melodic linear course of actions in which you reflect upon.
What has been happening to finally connect back to the last stanza of
"sigh, star dust my inner eye rolls in back my conscious mind conscious gets me every time this is why I cannot reach you"
It reaches conclusion-"I cannot reach you" I see it as both the literal inability to reach the Universe's beauty or the inability of conceiving it.
Something along those line.
It is less the concept behind the writing which I find great but more so the way in which it's worded.
The idea itself... It would be in vain for me to try to decipher the whole thing-because of the fact that the Idea is secretive.
It hints at many things but I am clearly unable to see what it is truely. Which is neither a bad or a good thing.
It leaves me with loose ends-but not one of inconclusion but one of great possibility for what lies I think, in the future.
Wow sis, this is a tale of begattin' from the eye of the sky. It would be my pleasure to analyze this to a fault but there is none.
I think this one is a gift of your abstract desire and prolific imagination. If we only could remember the desire and the love of the creator at the same time. Flashing between being human and a cosmic centerpiece is indeed a formidable task.
sigh, star dust my inner eye rolls in back my conscious mind conscious gets me every time this is why I cannot reach you
Every time I have the thought "I am..I know I am screwing up!"... I love your style lady,
Submission Name: thigh, sigh, inner-eye
