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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Memoriesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: babytinkerbelle
    ASL Info:    26/f/aus
    Elite Ratio:    5.25 - 310/209/42
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 638



    Description:
       Sitting at the computer listening to depressing songs by James Blunt, and this came to mind. I think the rhyme was a little forced but let me know what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMemoriesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the middle of the night
    Memories haunt me
    Things I’ve done wrong
    People I have hurt
    And what I could have done right

    Lying awake, thinking
    Wishing I could return
    To my younger days
    Change my course
    But I can’t and I’m sinking

    Sinking into a depression
    Wishing there was a light
    To guide me through
    And pull me out of
    This dark period in my life

    I can’t change the past
    I can only embrace the future
    And hope the I learn
    From my mistakes
    And find inner peace at long last




    Submitted on 2005-11-14 06:27:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      beutiful.im not good with comments but i will say that this is a piece any person in this world can find some way to relate to this.
    i know i do.
    and i'll tell you this...

    inner peace comes with time and living the dreams that are most important to you.

    *jenn*
    | Posted on 2006-10-14 00:00:00 | by bbcherry | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem and expression of longing. I bet everyone spends a night or two wondering if things could have turned out differently. There was somewhat of a rythmn to be found and the message was simple and clear. Great work.
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by SnakeBite7 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem so so much because this is the story of my life. It is put in to words so plainly and to the point. usually the point of a poem is to use abstract phrases to get the point across, but this was plainly expressed in direct phrases and i think that i could not have turned out any better.

    liz
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by blndeliz | [ Reply to This ]
      You are slowly healing
    I can tell from your comments that you are reaching out to others
    Trust me in me for one you will always have a friend
    Look to your heart there you will find the light you are looking for
    Its almost blinding
    you cant miss it

    Please take care of yourself
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      You will find inner peace as long as you stay focused. There have been many times in my life where I was close to giving up...but here I still stand. You must fall in order to move forward at times. That is what helps build your strength to get you ready for tomorrow's issues.

    Keep your head up and never lose hope within yourself. You must always depend on yourself. And when that gets hard...just look to a higher power.

    Great write.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmmm, many ways one can critique this. On one level, i love this poem, it has a good underlying message, but at the same time, it just seems too cliché, too predictable...i don't know. It almost reminds me of a semi-poor poetry reading in a hole-in-the-wall cafe...if that makes any sense...
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      this oem was original and pretty good
    a few typos and grammar mistakes but got the
    eneral standpoint, next time copy and past it on word first so that you can spell check your work, but overall good job
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by Jamie06 | [ Reply to This ]
      i think evryone can relate to being kept awake at night by guilt or something they've done
    i like your idea in the ending, of not looking back and just carrying on but for some reason it just doesn't fit- maybe the rest of the poem is just bettr written so the end verse sounds more clichéd and imature. it would probably sound ok if the rest of the poem wasnt so good
    sarah xxx
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by _ybutterfly | [ Reply to This ]
      The end is great because it speaks of hope...im not one to talk having siffered depression on and off all my life..but seriously you need to learn from mistakes..grown and move on..guilt stunts growth...and we cnat change the past only make the most of what we have..you are young and needed to learn somehow...i think we all get trapped in this kind of thinking from time to time...but push it aside as best you can...and realise that you are wise and lucky lol to even see this now...my motto is no regrets...without the past/future... good and bad experiences/actions we would not be who we are...try not to regret no matter how hard it is and see that without a certain experience you would not know what you do now or be who you are ...which is a great person...hugs..i hope you feel better...stormy
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]


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