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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Time 2 Confessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PrettyRicki
    ASL Info:    19
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 29/49/11
    Words: 509
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 1247
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3164



    Description:
       This poem was inspired by a good friend of mine. He went through all this except the very end. I didn't want him to think I was putting his business out there and at the same time, I wanted to sort of suggest to him just what might of actually been the reason as to why things ended the way they did. I havent told him but I think the end of this poem is the reason why things didn't work for his relationship.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTime 2 Confessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    “Time 2 Confess”
    By: Ricki

    So, here I am,
    Just as drunk as ever,
    Body…str8 shot,
    Feeling light as a feather.

    Room steady spinnin,
    Kaleidoscope colors galore,
    Tripping and falling,
    On my way to the door,

    But I don’t seem to make it,
    I fall short and here I am,
    “Does this shit make me feel,
    Any more of a man???”

    Why did I do it,
    After u told me not to?
    “Cuz Im a damn man,
    And Imma do what I wanna do!”

    “I told you so! I told u so.”
    Just goin through my mind
    Gotta prove em wrong,
    Just this one time,

    But here he comes,
    Ready to make his move,
    Hands where I on’t want em,
    “What the fucks wrong wit this dude?”

    I told em Im committed,
    And for that matter, he is too
    So then why the fucks he tryna,
    Play ME like a fool?

    My body’s too week,
    I ain’t got enough strength
    From me, to the door…
    “Damn its such a long length”

    He did what he did
    And the whole time I felt sick
    Im sayin, “I cant. I can’t.
    This situation don’t click.”

    But its done now, its over
    And I gotta tell u somehow
    Its just so hard,
    When my hearts feelin so foul.

    But I gather up my thoughts
    And call to confess
    Thinkin, “from this point on…
    My lifes gon be a str8 mess.”

    The right words to say,
    Just don’t come out right
    “This is so damn hard,
    Its gon be a long night!”

    But I said it,
    I told u…what more do I do?
    “Im sorry baby, I love you
    Please, Im begging you…”

    Gimme another chance,
    To prove I ain’t mean it,
    I was too weak and defensless
    Just please try and see it…

    I know what your feelin
    Cuz I can feel it myself
    Don’t dust me off,
    And put me back on the shelf

    Im putting myself in your shoes,
    And I know how u must feel
    Please accept my apology
    Cuz I swear… that its real”

    But that’s when you tell me…
    The trust is no longer there
    But Im lookin in your eyes…
    And its like you don’t care

    Im pourin out my heart
    And all my feelings to you
    “I was wrong and I know it,
    So what more can I do?”

    No emotion, no nothing
    Is expressed on your face
    I sit back and pause…
    As my brain begins to race…

    “No yelling or crying
    Has happened quite yet…
    Maybe u aint telling me,
    The whole truth, I bet…”

    That’s when I come out and ask
    “Is there something your hiding too?”
    A puzzled look on his face,
    And then responds with, “Who?”

    “Am I hidin something?”
    And I said,“Yeah, Im talking to you”
    Then, the first tear falls…
    And then it hits me…that YOU cheated TOO.









    Submitted on 2005-11-14 13:24:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmmm okay this one was just a little too fast paced for me...it had me feeling like i was the one that was drunk only being able to only grasp bits and pieces...

    I would first start with the length it got a lil too long there you were starting to lose me...then again that could do with the flow...because better man was just as long yet you never lost me for a second cuz it flowed like silk...

    what did i get from this...somehow in a drunk haze something happend to this dude and from the ending I'm assuming that "something" was he cheated? (am I right?) then he finds out she cheated too...not bad...it's like I always say..."while you out doing yo girl wrong, what makes you think she's at home doin ya right." us women are only what men make us lol *shrug* but that's just bitter ol me talking ;)

    Tina Elites ghetto ballerina...
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      Dam that liquor. I sure as hell can't handle mine! I'm a dam fool when full of intoxicants! LMFAO!

    I am going to have to add this one as a favorite. Definitely! I like your ability to be able to hold a story at the same time as holding a rhyme and a rhythm. that shows me more of who you are then you know.

    Keep up this shiyit...I'm a dedicated reader now!

    Much love!

    LI LI
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]


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