This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Razorblade Kisses

Author: camoflage
ASL Info:    16/f/nc
Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 459 /295 /71
Words: 114
Class/Type: Poetry /Cutting or Mutilation
Total Views: 1288
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 779


eh...we had a sub today, i dont really think this one was too great, and could use some improvements.

Razorblade Kisses

Raining crimson tears,
Among those who cannot and do not care
Zoneing in and out, feeling the pain that will never go away.
Ongoing agonizing gentle skim
Remaing for a slight second, the cool touch
Blame me for the touch, for I blame you
Leave me to it's gentle caress
Air so hard to breathe
Degradation, the scars of its sweet and tender touch cause.
Exacting revege, the hand slightly pinches.

Kisses and gentle nudges,
Impossibly quickly change.
Seeing the tears it brings to me
Screaming out as it's gentle touch becomes cold and heartless.
Expecting the impending sorrow it brings.
Sigh, slightly as you see the burgundy rivers they create on contact.

Submitted on 2005-11-14 19:25:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This is so... me. Wow. Holy hell... I don't even know what to say. This is going on my fav lists. Please, comment on mine. A writer like you makes a great critic.

Dark Ainjul
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Ashleigh Mari | [ Reply to This ]
  An excellent write
You were able to bring us your readers into the reasons you feel the way you do
Trust me thinking Positive Thoughts
will help carry you thru lifes turmoil
It has certainly helped me
Keep in touch
| Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Sam its good
and i know what your saying
i think i know who you are talking about
but i don't get this part "Ongoing agonizing gentle skim"

well yea bye
| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by inuyasha_s girl | [ Reply to This ]
  D: This was pretty--
sad. I guess.
it is saying to me.
I'm in so much pain that your love couldn't possibly pull me out, and even the slightest foul movement could result in diasaster.

| Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
  wow. I can relate big was beautiful. i cope the same way and i feel your pain. i love the way you write...fav
| Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?