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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ...the black door...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: my pain
    ASL Info:    16/F/aust
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 191/123/39
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 983
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 752



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots...the black door...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Locked behind a black door,
    Never able to reach the beautiful end.
    Driping in fear and deception,
    It welcomes and binds all who wish to be dead.

    The black paint etched with desire,
    Reaches out and intwinds in my mind.
    Waiting for me to follow it into gloom,
    Haunting me, in the shadows where i hide.

    the golden handle, mirrored in fate,
    Sings a lulaby in my un tame pain.
    Crying for recollection of needed dreams,
    Fear and rejection decide to have their say.

    The key promising and yet spitefull,
    Binds itself into all my lies.
    One step closer..birings more darkness,
    Smiling...the fantsy all but dies......





    Submitted on 2005-11-15 01:51:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      very nicccce
    i liked just about every bit of it
    the wording was good
    eplain this phrase to me
    "un tame"
    do you mean not being tame or was it a typo?
    any way, on the whole it was a good poem
    too good to chose a favourite line?
    why yes it was
    john*

    5/5
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      That is awesome. I Love that. It all fits together perfectly and it painted some lovely dark pictures in my head. Very descriptive. Although I love the whole thing, my favorite part is:

    "The key promising and yet spitefull,
    Binds itself into all my lies.
    One step closer..birings more darkness,
    Smiling...the fantsy all but dies... "

    I may have told you before, but I really love the way you word things. As always, great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      a good work my dear... i like your wording here and your structures is well-done .. well... i like the imagination used in this piece of writing ... i like when you say :

    "the golden handle, mirrored in fate,
    Sings a lulaby in my un tame pain.
    Crying for recollection of needed dreams,
    Fear and rejection decide to have their say."

    it has everything ... ryhth,... all stuff needed fto do a good writing ...
    jso keep on writing
    and peace and love
    victor!
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem has some misspelled words but otherwise I kinda like it... it's sorta morbid but interesting all the same! Great job with this one, keep it up!

    -p1
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      True, True, we all feel like our destination is is far out in reach, we have this illusion that we lye astill behind closed doors or in a box of utter darkness. Always remember where you came from
    -Sharon
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
      wonderful piece of work i really enjoyed reading it and goigng through it from the beginning till the end. keep up the good work and be hopeful black will one day fade away :)
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      wonderful piece of work i really enjoyed reading it and goigng through it from the beginning till the end. keep up the good work and be hopeful black will one day fade away :)
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      like the rythm- great selection of words love the line - "Sings a lullaby in my un tame pain,
    Crying for recollection of needed dreams"

    and also " Smiling... the fantasy all but dies"



    awesemo work


    luv it

    keep it up (Y)


    Peace out


    Me

    xxx
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by MysterydarkPoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    81045

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