Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Yesterday's Garbagedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 482
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 887



    Description:
       I am tossed aside again. It's a vicious cycle.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYesterday's Garbagedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Just toss me out with yesterday's garbage,
    Leave me sitting on the side of the road
    With all those other things you have no use for.
    We make quite a hefty load.

    I was once a cherished possesion,
    An heirloom that was built to last.
    Now I'm dirty and broken,
    Just another reminder of the past.

    I was once your favorite plaything.
    Then you found another toy.
    I became a mild curiousity.
    Seems I was made for you to destroy.

    Occassionally, you still play with me.
    But I think it's more like abuse.
    Now you tire of me again.
    Once more, I have no use.

    Just toss me out with yesterday's garbage.
    What are you holding on for?
    You promised that you would love me forever,
    But now you don't want me anymore.




    Submitted on 2005-11-15 11:27:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow...I liked this a lot...I couldn't pick out my favorite line...I really liked this poem overall...
    The last line was abrupt and I liked that...
    sort of like how the relationship ended sort of abruptly...but not I suppose...
    Personally i think that Tony is a dumbass and that you deserve (and can do) so much better than him.
    very very good job on this poem.
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this poem bc i am currently in a relationhip that this poem displays exactly. broken promises and merely lust is confused for love at times, particularly in my instance, and this was a perfect illustration. thanks.

    liz
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by blndeliz | [ Reply to This ]
      hey there...is this poem about a break up? if it is...i totally understand...i had a terrible one too...u cud read unchanged with time by me...
    anyway...about ur poem...the clear message is that...you were once like the most prized possession for ur partner, and now suddenly u feel as if you're nothing at all for that person...atleast thats what comes across to me...hope u get over it all really quick...maybe that person was never meant to be for you...
    cheers
    mihir
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by mihir | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write
    Iknow it helped you release a lot of the tension you held inside writing it


    The only advice I will give is move on and learn from the situation
    Know this
    It will be much harder for someone to hurt you in the future because you will be prepared

    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, great write about the pain of loss. it seems to have a weird mental connection because as a kid, everybody had an old toy that they just loved, but it got thrown away because it was so broken or dirty. great connection.

    "I was once your favorite plaything.
    Then you found another toy.
    I became a mild curiousity.
    Seems I was made for you to destroy."

    That is my favorite stanza. it just kind of hammers home in my mind. easy connection. good write. thanks.
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    81077

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Records I written by Raphael
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Love written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry