“A Bigger Man”
By: Ricki

My hearts been broken,
In more ways than one,
Can’t be taken back,
Cuz whats done, is done…

Relationships gon die,
Its just a given fact,
But to have a dad to talk to,
That’s just something I lack,

You see, I thought I had u,
The first four years of my life,
Come to find out, u left me,
And never thought twice…

The kid you ain’t seen,
In more than 6 years,
So when its time for me to come,
“Poof,” and u disappear.

Now that Im older,
With 14 years gone by…
I start to look atchu
And all I can say is “why?”

“Why you set me up,
And whisper dreams in my ear,
‘Mommy its time to see Daddy,’
‘Naw baby, Daddy ain’t here.’

“Well where’d he go?
I miss em so much…
I wanna tell em, ‘hello!’
And that I love him and such…

Give him that hug
I been waitin for so long
Mommy tell me your playin,
Cuz I don’t think Im that strong

“Baby, Daddy’s not here,
He left before you came,
Im thinking to myself,
“This will just never be the same.”

“Is he comin back?
Please let it be soon”
The note my heart had been playin
Now played a different tune

Years go by,
14 years to this day,
Im 18 now…
And Im thinking another way

“Which parent you look like?
Your mom or your dad?”
“Man, I couldn’t tell you…
And that’s pretty damn sad.”


I wanna say my dad,
But Id be lyin if I did,
Truth is, “I on’t know”
He left when I was a kid.

Missed birthdays and Christmas,
Even the little things too…
I graduated early,
But he ain’t have no clue

I did talk to em though,
Right after momma died,
He tried to console me
And I began to cry…

“Don’t talk to me now,
With how many years gone?
As Im lookin in your eyes,
I can see that you know your wrong.

Wrong the way you left me
Ain’t heard from u since,
The things I told ppl about you,
Were all in past tense,

I ain’t have no choice,
What could I say?
And here you are now
Like it should all just go away

I grew up myself
Im a bigger man than you
Stop shakin your head,
Dammit you know this shits true

You know what its too hard,
Im better off by myself
As Im sayin these words,
My heart begins to melt

One parents all I had,
My whole life growin up…
“But son, I tried…”
“Man, dammit, SHUT UP!”

“Just get up and leave,
That’s all you gotta do…
You did it once before,
Why not make it two?

So he got up,
And slowly walked away…
This pain I had felt,
Maybe he’d feel some day

He is my dad tho,
As fucked up as he is…
It was always about him…
Man “to hell wit his kids”

Its okay tho,
Cuz Im a bigger man…
I said, “Man…STOP”
And that’s when I shook his hand.