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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the ununited statesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: papalegba
    ASL Info:    45/male/schenectady ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 52/42/28
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 992



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe ununited statesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    THERE IS A PLACE
    WITH LOST EMOTION IN A SEA OF DEATH
    HAVEING PHOTOS OF ABUSE
    GOING TO A SCANDELESS WAR
    WITH PILES OF ROTTING FLESH BUILDING UP
    GREED IN THE WHITEHOUSE
    SYMBOLS OF HATRED WORLDWIDE
    A FLAG THAT HAS BEEN FADED AND TATTERED
    I TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE BLOODSHED
    GOING TO THE WRONG COUNTRY
    WITH A PRESIDENT THAT IS WILLING TO
    NUKE THE NON FOLLOWERS
    WELL AT LAST THE COUNTRY MAY WAKE UP
    AND SEE THE DESTRUCTION FROM WITHIN
    EVERY MOURNING I WAKE
    I ASK IF IT IS JUST A DREAM
    THEN I TUNE IN CNN
    AND REALISE THAT MY GOD
    THIS MAY BE THE FINAL WAR THAT THE BIBLE
    HAS SPOKEN ABOUT
    THE SAD THING THERE IS NO WHERE TO ESCAPE
    NO WHERE TO HIDE
    PLEASE GOD HELP US ALL IF YOU DARE
    THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO LEAVE US ALONE
    LISTEN TO MY PLEA
    OH FATHER IN HEAVEN
    I DO NOT WANT THE END TO BE THIS WAY
    AMEN!!!!!!




    Submitted on 2005-11-15 15:01:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I have to agreed with norm the caps do distract from the poem I had opened it because of the title thinking that maybe it was a civil war thing but alas it wasn't yet in a way it was ,it portrayed todays civil wars, and i like it it had something to say and said it very will adnil
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      couple of spelling errors..good poem..maybe work on your rhyming a little bit, I can understand why you put it all in caps but perhaps you should only put caps lock on the stuff that you really want to stick out..pick certain things that you feel are the most important and put them in caps..not the whole poem..but keep writing..good stuff.
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by norm | [ Reply to This ]
      this is hard to read capitalized. umm the title would be better and atract more attention if it said "the divided states" vs. "the ununited states." but that is just a thought :) other than that i know what youy mean about the world today. it sux and war sux.
    xoxo
    Reeses
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]


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