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untitled


Author: Visionary
ASL Info:    15/male/NJ
Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 20 /26 /8
Words: 156
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1064
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 948



Description:


Just a poem about living life and getting over it...


untitled



so lull me to sleep , thunderstorm
you ingite the velvet sky with crimson fire
so free of verse so free of form
of your unpredictiability i never do tire
my hopes lay drenched on the ground
beaten and battered, but no not yet shattered
stirring to the alarm clock thunderstorm sound
before this nothing really mattered
but did it ever?
because all is doomed to grow old
wither and fade just as this storm will soon die
into a bright shining day or so we're all told
but you know thats just a forsaken lie
we made in our minds
to weather the weather with high hopes for the 'morrow
oh you know the rain beats hardest when the storm is near its death
the thunder is misunderstood moans of sorrow
the sky screams as it takes its final breath
All hope it seems hopeless
but still i wait for the morn




Submitted on 2005-11-15 15:58:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  This is a very interesting and thought provoking. It has deep meaning to it and touches on some somber feelings. I think this one is good in that it is sad and depressing but never gives up hope regardless. You mention you are "beaten and battered, but no not yet shattered" and I like that line. Reminds me of a poem that I wrote called "Hollowed Heart". And I like the ending here as you convey all seems lost but you will hang on just the same. I think this is very well written and expressed and you did a great job with this poem. The only suggestion for you here is I would give this one a title. Poems, to me anyway, seem like they are missing something without a good title. It is kind of like an introduction or a theme for the body of the work. Just my opinion but I think a good title also attracts people's interest. A very good write. Take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  i did like it and it did show how you were just getting over life and i can feel the same way. you are pretty good with words from what i know so far and welcome to ES. you'll hear from people that will express everything about your work that they can say and yah...this was nice and im adding it to my fav. list.
-BleedingTears
| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]


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