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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tearsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Akai_Ame
    Elite Ratio:    4.79 - 223/180/46
    Words: 184
    Class/Type: Poetry/Betrayal
    Total Views: 299
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1165



    Description:
       I have no idea where this came from. I was just sitting at my computer typing to one of my friends and have MSW open and way just typing what ever came to mind. I thought i wasn't bad, so i put it it. ^_^


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTearsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Bloody tears fall from the sky.
    Our love that we created,
    Is just about to die.
    Staring in from the window pane.
    I see it failing, just as fast as the rain falls.
    We thought we’d make it.
    Thought we had a chance.
    But in my haste, I missed the fact,
    That you’d started a romance.
    You’d hug her when I wasn’t near.
    Kiss her, without fear.
    Thought what I didn’t know,
    Wouldn’t hurt.
    But oh, how you had thought wrong.

    All the pain I feel is real.
    Nothing can come closer.
    I see those bloody tears.
    I grieve for them.
    Beg them to stop.
    But like the falling pieces of my heart.
    They shall not stop.
    Nor heed my prays.

    Never to be mended,
    Never to stop falling.
    This is the fate we accept,
    When love we embrace.

    One day, the sky may clear.
    The sun may shine.
    But till the day someone comes.
    And helps you mend your heart.
    It shall remain, under all the slime.
    Hidden well. Caked with blood.
    Longing for “the one” to come.




    Submitted on 2005-11-15 16:00:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOw. Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep..
    | Posted on 2006-07-21 00:00:00 | by lost_alone64 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds painful. I really liked the emotion behind it but I wouldn't want my sister to have to face such pain, especially without someone to console her.
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by Kenji Light | [ Reply to This ]
      One word comes to mind when i read this, betrayal, and in such a vivid image of an affair. I see deep passion behind this, and i love it. I see maybe an experience that came form your heart to write this. I love poems that come form your heart, and if this is just thoughts put down into words, you have a wonderful mind. Next time i would make it rhyme, and i loved the part that said,
    "Thought we had a chance.
    But in my haste, I missed the fact,
    That you’d started a romance.
    You’d hug her when I wasn’t near.
    Kiss her, without fear.
    Thought what I didn’t know,
    Wouldn’t hurt.
    But oh, how you had thought wrong."

    I loved it because when people cheat on each other that is what runs through their heads and then the person who was being cheated on thinks tey were wrong about not hearing about it. I love the poem, it touches my interests and sparks a little creativity in me. Thanks.
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by darkchild_41 | [ Reply to This ]
      Love, love, love is so beautiful! When your scorned by it life seems as you have put it in several portions of your piece:

    "All the pain I feel is real.
    Nothing can come closer.
    I see those bloody tears.
    I grieve for them.
    Beg them to stop.
    But like the falling pieces of my heart.
    They shall not stop".

    Again, love's pain doesn't stop there:

    "Never to be mended,
    Never to stop falling.
    This is the fate we accept,
    When love we embrace."

    Overall, these feelings are very real in everyone's life and love seems to bless some and plague others. Take this time to reflect, regroup, and focus on that special someone that will come into your life.

    Thanks for sharing, Saby~*~
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by CaramelCandy | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like that and when you dont know what you're writing happens to be with me stuff i have either been thinking about alot or something i want to get better and whatnot. this was a really good write and i did write a poem called "The One" and you can read it if you'd like.
    but this was really nice and it had a good way with words and knowing that you didnt know what you were writing makes things wayy better showing you have a true talent.
    -BleedingTears
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]



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