Diamond Tears by Toxic

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Diamond Tears dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Toxic_Rayne
ASL Info:	16/f/a happier place
Elite Ratio:	4.7 - 1313/1094/162
Words:	154

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	267
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1082

Description:
Just another thing that I've written up out of no where. I seriously don't know where these things come from, lol.

Diamond Tears dots

-------------------------------------------

Diamond tears running down my face
Soul as fragile as torn and frayed lace

Watch these tears fall like the rain
These controlling fears that I haven't slain

Eyes reflecting ice and viens of cold blood
Fears and obsession, I shall drown in this flood

Silver moon-light dancing on the water
Over-shadowing the life that you'll never barter

Every moment is my darkest hour
I've no walls, I've built myself a tower

Nothing left to lose, nothing there to gain
Be my salvation to this never-ceasing pain

Like a wolf, I want to run away, to just leave
Be my tourniquet to my wounds that bleed

Lost in disillusioned, non-existant reveries
Trapped inside someone else's tragic memories

White lightening crackling, striking down
In this chaotic world I'm sure to drown

There's a pain in my soul like a white hot knife
But...then again...welcome to life

Submitted on 2005-11-15 16:13:00 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  hey! this is awesome! im going to try and comment on every single thing u have written but u write a lot man! slow down! ok i really like this! its awesome! i liked the ending and i think it flowed just fine. the 2 opening stanzas were da best! good job!
~akaila evonne~
| Posted on 2005-11-30 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey,

Me again. Ive read a couple of your poems and they are all pretty good. I like once again the 2 sentance stanzas. I'm not very good with thoose. Maybe you can stop by mine and give you opion.

Raven
| Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
  damn. u've been posting a lot and now i gotta try to read all ur stuff. i don't if i can keep up with u and silent_death12. this one was cool. the ending was ok. i liked the welcome to life line but it really didn't flow the way the rest of the poem did. peace
| Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
  i liked ur words alot, especially
"Watch these tears fall like the rain
These controlling fears that I haven't slain"
and
"Nothing left to lose, nothing there to gain
Be my salvation to this never-ceasing pain"
these parts seemed 2 sum what i've felt like 4 the last few weeks.
its a really good rite.

thanx 4 ur read n feedback
chaos
| Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by divine chaos | [ Reply to This ]
  hmpth you don't know were this came from? haha like i said you arn't the only one that can pull things out of your ass lol. Yea i do it too...*looks around* just don't tell anyone jk jk lol. But seriously it was good. And i don't think the ending fit either.

~~Danni~~
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
  WOW this one rocked. I am very glad you posted it and it's definatly a favorite. just- wow all of your lines are great but I think my favorite line would have to be "trapped inside someone else's tragic memories"this was great and a nice connection...there are so many different feelings in this poem and almost surpirisingly THe title fit into it perfectly. This really was a great write. keep writing:)
Peace.
*blazing deathwish*
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh my gosh, you totally caught exactly how I feel and how I've been feeling lately... this is an awesome poem lil' sis, keep up the great job! Catch ya laterz!

-your big sis,
Melissa
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
  "Watch these tears fall like the rain
These controlling fears that I haven't slain"
I loved those lines. I was reading them and I was thinking, "great senior quote" lol. Crazy. It is a good written poem and your rhyming seems right to me.
| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Lies | [ Reply to This ]
  good but i felt like some lines didn't quite fit right. also a couple words didn't rhyme and it seemed like you were going for rhyming the whole thing. also you talk about fears and pain and then relate it to wolves which i wasn't to fond of because i assoicate wolves with strength and courage and such. they do run but that metaphor doesn't really relate to the whole poem. overall it was very creative, i really like the lines

Every moment is my darkest hour
I've no walls, I've built myself a tower

Nothing left to lose, nothing there to gain
Be my salvation to this never-ceasing pain

and also the last line. anyway nice job!

-Beth
| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by beth freese | [ Reply to This ]
  I really really enjoyed this. I think you are a very talented writer, who knows just how to word things to hit the darkness in everyones heart. This is something that discribes me so well that i must give you props. It is very well done and i love the end. It is true that everything you wrote is just a part of life, which everyone must go through.

(There's a pain in my soul like a white hot knife
But...then again...welcome to life)

I really loved that part. again. my props go to you for an exelent write.
| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Akai_Ame | [ Reply to This ]
  long but great. an overall look of it is 4/5. well if you would comment on my poetry and leave me comments on it...that would be great :)
xoxoxo
Reeses
| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]
  that was really good and i liked it but the end kinda threw me off. some endings like that work but that one kinda didnt fit. it was a nice poem though and i relate to most of it and i know how it goes.
-BleedingTears
| Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.