hey! this is awesome! im going to try and comment on every single thing u have written but u write a lot man! slow down! ok i really like this! its awesome! i liked the ending and i think it flowed just fine. the 2 opening stanzas were da best! good job! ~akaila evonne~
damn. u've been posting a lot and now i gotta try to read all ur stuff. i don't if i can keep up with u and silent_death12. this one was cool. the ending was ok. i liked the welcome to life line but it really didn't flow the way the rest of the poem did. peace
i liked ur words alot, especially "Watch these tears fall like the rain These controlling fears that I haven't slain" and "Nothing left to lose, nothing there to gain Be my salvation to this never-ceasing pain" these parts seemed 2 sum what i've felt like 4 the last few weeks. its a really good rite.
hmpth you don't know were this came from? haha like i said you arn't the only one that can pull things out of your ass lol. Yea i do it too...*looks around* just don't tell anyone jk jk lol. But seriously it was good. And i don't think the ending fit either.
WOW this one rocked. I am very glad you posted it and it's definatly a favorite. just- wow all of your lines are great but I think my favorite line would have to be "trapped inside someone else's tragic memories"this was great and a nice connection...there are so many different feelings in this poem and almost surpirisingly THe title fit into it perfectly. This really was a great write. keep writing:) Peace. *blazing deathwish*
"Watch these tears fall like the rain These controlling fears that I haven't slain" I loved those lines. I was reading them and I was thinking, "great senior quote" lol. Crazy. It is a good written poem and your rhyming seems right to me.
good but i felt like some lines didn't quite fit right. also a couple words didn't rhyme and it seemed like you were going for rhyming the whole thing. also you talk about fears and pain and then relate it to wolves which i wasn't to fond of because i assoicate wolves with strength and courage and such. they do run but that metaphor doesn't really relate to the whole poem. overall it was very creative, i really like the lines
Every moment is my darkest hour I've no walls, I've built myself a tower
Nothing left to lose, nothing there to gain Be my salvation to this never-ceasing pain
I really really enjoyed this. I think you are a very talented writer, who knows just how to word things to hit the darkness in everyones heart. This is something that discribes me so well that i must give you props. It is very well done and i love the end. It is true that everything you wrote is just a part of life, which everyone must go through.
(There's a pain in my soul like a white hot knife But...then again...welcome to life)
I really loved that part. again. my props go to you for an exelent write.
that was really good and i liked it but the end kinda threw me off. some endings like that work but that one kinda didnt fit. it was a nice poem though and i relate to most of it and i know how it goes. -BleedingTears