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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One More Daydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: auntwheezie
    ASL Info:    45/Female/Dartmouth NS
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 75/57/18
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 184
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 692



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne More Daydots
    -------------------------------------------


    One more day gone.
    Wounds gaping open
    Seeping with pain
    Can't heal them.

    One more day gone
    Missing you is
    Twisting my insides.
    Don't want to heal it!
    The pain reminds me I'm alive.

    One more day gone.
    I can't understand why!
    You were so full of life.
    Right place, wrong time.
    Was there peace or pain?
    I didn't get to say good-bye!

    One more day gone.
    I can't let the hate in.
    I don't want to be like them.
    I love you.
    One day closer to when
    I'll see you again.
    One day gone.




    Submitted on 2005-11-15 19:02:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was pretty straight. I wish you could've gotten a lil bit more into it some. I mean, it was a lil straightforward, but I wanted to know a lil bit more. Needed a lil bit more mood to me, personally. But like I say, it still was pretty straight.
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by K-Beezy | [ Reply to This ]
      i believe this was a good write. it kept me guessing who it was for though. a friend, or a past love. but i like how you were putting One More Day in it alot, i liked that line. it can totally be turned into a prompt. on a thought, perhaps you can explain how you miss this person. just a little more expression into this, and i believe it can rocket off into a great piece. it is good though how it is, just giving my thoughts on it. thank you for posting. keep it up =]
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by irish storm | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm unsure waht this is about but the way you wrote it was beautiful. i like your writting style. please don't stop writting-at least not any time soon. i love it. please read my poetry and comment on it.
    xoxox,
    Reeses
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]
      One day gone...
    I think you could of been more detailed in this...perhaps I say this because you had no description so I'm guessing you're missing someone and you have one day til you see them again? Forgive me if I'm wrong. It was okay though.
    I like the line..one day gone...I do.
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Lies | [ Reply to This ]



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