Naive by nolram

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Submission Name: Naive dots

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Author:	nolram
Elite Ratio:	3.66 - 41/46/19
Words:	166

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	218
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	962

Description:
It's been a while since I've really felt the song "Ticket to Ride" But I just had one of those moments realizing this girl I was pursuing truly has a ticket to ride....and I'm not part of it...there is someone else. My suggestion that we see Walk the Line Together doesn't hold a candle to what she already has. and it makes me sad. Hopefully my poem is relatable to other things. I'm too tired to put much work into it.

Naive

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Naive Torn and Lost
I thought I was on a path
I was wrong
Simply running around in my head diddling my purpose to myself
I understand
I can never be half the man he is
and it's not like you ever even knew I cared
and I guess it doesn't matter
as it's clear you have already found true love
so here I sit once again
lonely, belated, nothing
I should have known
a girl like you could never want a guy like me
Positive, spirited, enraptured with love.
I fantasized what it would be like to love a girl like you, and I guess you already found someone who really knows how to
I dreamt of awaking at your side
you dream of being closer to the love of your life
I understand
But did it have to happen again
and did it have to be so pathetic on my part this time?
I shouldn't have been so naive torn and lost

Submitted on 2005-11-16 04:42:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Sometimes the sheer emotion of what we believe is love can carry our Hearts to a Place where our Hearts really dont belong
I understand and feel the emotion you are expressing
I am a 37 year old male who has never been in love as in a relationship because I am afraid of the heartbreak
God Bless
Your Friend
Ron
| Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  good [censored] man - i think you're on your way to exploring poetry. i was really biased against writing actual poems for a little bit - remember the coffee shope thingy and all the freakin' [censored]-heads spouting off bull[censored] and thinking they are hippity hip? whatevers. now i've found a way i can make poetry my own. but i'm running out of ideas. wait - i had a point. man you'll find someone somewhere sometime - patience man. whatevers. check out some more of my poems if u want. i'm interested in what you think. just click on my name thing and it will take you to my web-page and it will give the last 20 i wrote - if u click list all it will give you everything i wrote. i have little short story type things as well. whatevers.

good write. keep exploring your poetic golden glove, hehe. peace man.
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice, but try not to use the word I so much, try more to include the audiance or make them feel a part of you. It was good and dispalyed How you currently feel.
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
  THis is good, though you need to be consistant with punctuation. THe only line that didn't really fit was the "and did it have to be so pathetic on my part this time?" Besides that it was awesome. I hope things work out for you. Great write!

Sarah

(This has nothing to do with the poem but you said something about the Johnny Cash movie coming out in the description and I have to ask, do you like Johnny Cash? He’s like the best. Sorry random. Good write again.)
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]

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