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    dots Submission Name: This Very Old Roomdots

    Author: papalegba
    ASL Info:    45/male/schenectady ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 52/42/28
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 636
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 757


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Very Old Roomdots

    sitting in this room
    with no door or windows
    only light from a crack in the wall
    i think do not know how i got here
    but i know that i am not alone
    i seem to see a large spider web
    in the middle of this box
    it is atached to every corner
    but where is the spider
    i think i may feel something strange
    going across my face
    it feels kind of nice but
    there is that red light
    and now a vibration
    the prick of a pin i thought
    but could it be that spider with
    a red mark on it's back
    kind of large
    and what is this box
    now that warm felling down to my toes
    oh god i hope this is a dream
    or ...ah

    Submitted on 2005-11-16 08:45:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I am very curious
    Why did you classify this write as comedy
    I saw more of a serious tone to it
    To me you were describing someone who know matter how hard they try can figure out exactly why they are here on this Earth
    It actually was quite sad
    Great Write
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      though this is posted under comedy I seemed to have lost the humor...for me this reminded me of what(so i've been told) solitary confinement must feel like...nothing but darkness and cobwebs of the mind...

    Tina Elite's ghetto ballerina...
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
    Interesting ending.
    The piece lacks capitalization and commas and question marks, but I think this one works better that way.
    I like the way it flows, how swiftly it continues from one line to the next.
    Although I wonder how you know what the spider looks like although you claim he isn't there, and you don't even seem certain of the web...
    Just a thought.
    I enjoyed this a lot. It was really something to think about.

    *only light from a crack in the wall*

    Keep Writing
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]

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