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Tonight's the Night

Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 158
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1106
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 920


another teenage angst piece.

Tonight's the Night

Tonight’s the night for paintings
Of crying clouds
And bleeding wounds
Of starless nights
With infinite frights

Tonight’s the night for burning pictures
Of phony smiles
And made up memories
Of past heartaches
And the dirty deeds they captured with a 35mm

Tonight’s the night for music
With bass so loud I feel my heart shake
And incomprehensible vocals
You don’t need to know the words
To feel the hurt

Tonight’s the night for goodbyes
As I swallow a pill for every
Broken heart

Tonight’s the night for giving
My books, my clothes, my music
My words, my thoughts, my knowledge, myself

Tonight’s the night I leave you behind

Submitted on 2005-11-16 09:14:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  A very good write indeed. Very detailed with many good emotions. It was as if you got the reader to visualize what you were going though in a way. This has great wording and many good aspects to it. I wouldn't change anything in it. I like it the way it is.

Happy New Year!!!

| Posted on 2005-12-31 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
  I think you did a nice job expressing yourself with this poem. Despite it's angst, it is a strong poem with powerful emotions. You convey your sadness and the depressed state of mind very well with your words. It also has some nice descriptive qualities too which makes it much more than just a teen angst poem. This speaks of suicide as the escape from the pain which so many people tend to "turn to" with their despair. I always say, things always change and never are as bad as they seem at the time. Anyway, this is a strong poem. Nice job. Take care.

| Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  I can feel the deep emotions behind this write. The longing for something more, and better.. and just wanting to leave what IS behind.
You have a wonderful way with words, your expressions and descriptions in this piece proves that.
"paintings of crying clouds"
"burning pictures of phony smiles"
just a couple of the neat images captured in this write.
Nicely done.. very creative.
| Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  lemme tell you something, and listen very closely to me...DADDY LIKE! babe this was great! when i read the first verse i was sure you were going to stick rigidly to that form, but you didn't. while it remained similar in each verse, you still played with it and it worked very well and i love it and don't change a thing :) WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!
| Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a good write
I hope and Pray you are not seriously thinking of doing anything crazy
The imagery was powerful and you showed
True Emotion
With this write
Great Job!
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  As far as the teen angst thing goes, i like this piece. I has a unique and original feel to it that doesn't make me feel like i've read it a million times. It was a good write, even the the subject is cliché, it brought it out of that norm and created this. I like it.
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
  Very deatiled write. I can relate to it a lot. To feel hurt inside and just want to die. This poem will be added to one of my favorite's, because the way you write and the way this piece is worded, it makes me feel like I've found inspiration. I really hope you are as proud of this piece as I am. Please keep writing, as i will be looking for more from you.

| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by missing_angel | [ Reply to This ]
  though be it yet another teen angst write...I actually found this to be a good write...It gave good imagery to your reader...the only thing that I would change is the last line in your first stanza...the rhyming just seemed to be forced compared to the flow of the rest of the piece.

Tina Elite's ghetto ballerina...
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]

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