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    dots Submission Name: griefdots

    Author: my pain
    ASL Info:    16/F/aust
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 191/123/39
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 784
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 544

       this ones kind of short and a bit weird but meh..i like weird

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    ...Seething...driping in hate...
    ...a smile...burning with envy...
    ...Screaming...a gloomful fate...
    ...Running away...retreating faith...

    ...Issues...bound to deception...
    ...Twisted...inflicting more pain...
    ...Torment...embraces with no recollection...
    ...filled with nothing...numb...

    ...Falling...lost to the world of lies...
    ...Bleeding...scars never ending...
    ...Untrue...the inside withers and dies...
    ...Grief.......blood pouring...crying....

    Submitted on 2005-11-17 02:15:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      it was different but i cant tell you that i liked it
    there was some thing about it that I didn;t like
    cant really figure it out, maybe it was because i usually expect more from you
    thats not your fault

    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this one... alot i like the way when i was reading it i could here it like somone was sayignitin my head i thought it was well cool you have a very unique style and your words help the reader to paint a very clear picture i'd love to read more of your poems
    take care
    izzi x
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by fallen_angel384 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this one alot. I'm adding it to my favorites. And your unique writing style, the pauses in between...its great...and I relate, and I feel like you're writing about the readers pain, as well as your own...its a wonderful piece of work
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by AngryAtTheWorld | [ Reply to This ]
      This perhaps truly describes of grief. Unique and...cool. Well, to me.
    A picture brings out a thousand words, but vice versa seems impossible. But you had made up a picture with such a few words. Great Job.
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is a very different peom, i really like the way you have set it out- it adds to it. it makes the reader actually have to relate to the peom to understand it which is good. i like the way u use your words to paint a picture. get on writing this is great
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by dark silence | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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