it's okay. It's fine for standard poetry form, but you could tell some of the things were thrown in just to rhyme, and not really sticking with the point you were trying to make, at least that's how it seemed to me. Nice tempo in the poetry though. Keep it up, it needs a little work, but it could be very good.
It started out very strong and it was good until you you kind of started to end it..like the last two stanzas just kind of killed it...but it was good..nice flow, and imagery....I saw it in my head I feel it in my heart ..I know where your coming from with this one..it was pretty close to my own feelings ...though I love the darkness simply because its so caklm and its not a rush anymore....everything is at peace and not bright with lies of things that you think you can see.it was overall a very good write..even good enough for a favorite spot...see you around keep it up.
Basically the way it's written is fine, perhaps you can shorten it and the unnecessary details with strong propelling words that strikes the heart entirely. By the way, the character in the poem should try not to ask for perfection because it kills, if you know what I meant. But these are personal opinions, take it or leave it.
This, to me, is a really great poem. It address an issus many can relate to(my self included). I really loved the way you ended it, it closed the poem up very nicely and gave it a highly personal feel.