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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tmullins
    ASL Info:    37/F/Mo
    Elite Ratio:    4.5 - 127/149/41
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 513



    Description:
       When all you have left is the demons. Just goes to show that the demons never really leave. A friend on another site got tired of all my "happy" poems and wanted to know if i could write something not quite so happy. This is what I came up with. Let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's evil. Dark. Desolate.
    The lonely world where I'm kept.
    Wild dogs gnash their teeth and growl.
    In the dark, in the night, a lone wolf howls.

    It's cold. Empyt. Abandoned.
    The bed at night I lie upon.
    They show their fangs. Ready to strike.
    The nest of vipers lay empty.

    Torturous thoughts run rampant
    through my broken memories.
    Of long ago unwanted loves
    that stormed through my life with ease.




    Submitted on 2005-11-17 16:07:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think it is a nice descriptive write of your current feelings... if that is what it is and what I think it is... You are telling us how loneliness at the moment is affecting you... not having anyone there is hard... Does not take a genious to figure that one out... it is just a matter of change... The fear of change is what keeps us living through the same cycle even though we might want to try to change that which we have been living under for so much time keeps us there... Good write love the first stanza as far as imagery

    Jose J. Ortiz aka Josyman
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      im not sure what i think here, i dont feel like this is coming from you... i personally dont think this is your style, i dont know. I think you have tallent, but you have confused where to practice it. maybe you should try a comedic piece, and see how it goes for you
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by godsminion | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it was generic i didn't "feel" you in it at all. Perhaps "happy" poetry is your gift don't devalue what you have. I am lacking in any gift so treasure yours and utilize it.

    ~silence is deadly-silence is sick-silence is wounding and i will inflict~weepingprophet
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by weepingprophet | [ Reply to This ]


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