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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: winds move unyielding `Haiku`dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladyngold
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 585/520/99
    Words: 14
    Class/Type: Haiku/
    Total Views: 921
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 98



    Description:
       Revised Haiku


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswinds move unyielding `Haiku`dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Winds move unyielding
    pine needles stream down as tears
    covers cold terrain




    Submitted on 2005-11-17 19:42:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the image it produces, and how it personifies the pine trees. The last line seems to not fit, at least 'covers' doesn't seem to. I would suggest changing it to 'cover', or something like that. I think it's just an agreement issue.
    -HaldirLives
    | Posted on 2006-03-14 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful as usual Cheryl. This has a chill tone to it that is fitting for winter,-it speaks of that season without actually using and "winter" words. I have only one small suggestion and that is in the the last line to drop the s from "covers", ( to agree with the plural subject "pine needles" ) I loved the image of the pine needles as tears. The poem stirs the senses of sight. sound, feeling and smell, -the cool moist freshness of the winter woods or forest.
    Sally
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      This lovely haiku speaks to me of human nature, as well as mother nature. The bitter winter winds blowing pine needles to the cold ground.. reflects also, the human heart when it's depressed. You did a great job with this one.. and it's good to have you back.
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey, the Queen of haiku is back! welcome back!
    i like this, i can feel the chill and love the image of
    the pine needles falling like tears..
    a nice little winter package all wrapped up like only
    you can do!

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-11-20 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Hooray for the Haiku! I really am glad, like everyone, that you are sharing your wonderful words again!

    This seems as though "IT's" a nature poem in human ways also - perhaps you are part of that wind and the tears are welcome ~ wonderful haiku Cheryl! God Bless!
    Tell us how you are!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Well well well nice to see you again.

    It nice to see that you have not lost your touch when writing the Haiku.

    pine needles streaming as tears
    fallís last green carpet


    what a image.

    ~shawn
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      Cheryl? Cheryl? CHERYL???!!!

    Where you been? YOU KNOW I WAS WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU!

    ShEEit! I thought maybe the poetry police had grabbed you and put you away for writing too many haikus!!!

    Talk to me! - oh yeh, I better read your poem...hang on

    neat, now talk to me

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Who the hell wrote this?
    *looks around*
    Hmmm...
    Could it be the Queen of Haikus (bless u)?

    *looks again*

    Dang, it is, HA!

    Hey! Nice, one. Never let the winds blow you down, I agree! Ever notice how sometimes those pine needles build up and somehow create a soothing mattress as the winters go by? I just did after reading this.
    Thanks Cheryl!
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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