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Author: Flamequill
ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan
Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77 /97 /35
Words: 131
Class/Type: Poetry /The pain inside
Total Views: 1043
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 887


Hey everyone, it's Paco again. Looking for thoughts on this, mostly connotation again and the format. The obvious motif, is it good?


to kill the obsession
to remove all the passion
to destroy all desseption
to kill the obsession

to smoke away the pain
to burn all the sane
to reach out and die
cut open and cry

to burn up the school
to not be his fool
to run away and hide
to destroy all I lied

to lose all bad friends
to bring forth my ends
to reach out and die
to run away and hide

to kill the obsession
to destroy my desseption
to smoke away the pain
to burn all the sane

to run away from him
to leave life to dim
to reach into Death
and let go of breath

to reach out and die

Submitted on 2005-11-18 10:04:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Very rhymie like. Liked the way you had the words similar. Basically you used synonoms to support the term temptation. I liked lots.
| Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
  I challenge you to write something happy, something involving ponies and bright eyed puppies. Make a peom or story with a happy ending (like the story with the tree should have ended with the kid being forablly turned into a tree!). Come on! You do it and i will, hell, i bet Amber would too. We'll all do it.
| Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by Augustine | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh hun, this is sad. Please dont give into the temptation.. Id miss you way too much. I love the style of this poem. Its great! Like I said though, dont be weak like me..
| Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]

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