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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Silent Crydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Brownsdelight
    ASL Info:    25/F/NUEVO MEXICO
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 1251/1055/115
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1551
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 893



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSilent Crydots
    -------------------------------------------


    One step forward
    Three steps back
    A 2 minute conversation
    Throws my strength off track

    Tears welling up
    Yet refusing to cry
    Youíre not worthy
    Youíre the one who said good-bye

    Love donít live here anymore
    My lifeís refrain
    Trying to move on yet
    Suffering from an emotional freeze frame

    Trying to let you go
    With both hands clenched
    Reflecting on our past
    How did love turn to this?

    Easily you moved on
    Started a new life
    And here I am still
    Considering myself your wife

    The bed is empty
    The sheets long cold
    Tear soaked pillows
    Life seems out of control

    Three months without
    Tender kisses and hugs
    My life now revolves
    Around memories of what was




    Submitted on 2005-11-18 10:28:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yo. . . after going through a serious break-up this past New Year's, I totally feel and understand this poem. And the part the mesmerized me was:

    Easily you moved on
    Started a new life
    And here I am still
    Considering myself your wife

    Because the reason why we broke up, wuz through miscommunication - clearly, the person I was with had moved on, and I was still claimining them as mine. It hurts, and I cried many nights because of it, but... you live, you grow, you learn and you move on. But yeah, this was hot, fa'real, fa'real.
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by K-Beezy | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very emotional and filled with pain. It was like you were not at the it's finally over state. You carried those feeling excellently throughout this poem. I loved the flow. I loved the way you described how it feels to be alone after being a couple. Everything is darker and colder to you. I'm sorry you went through this. This was a very good write.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sad..i have felt similar recently and am sorry for your loss...time will renew your strength and you will find someone worthy of your love...just take care of you as much as you can (as well as the little one)..things seem to be going a bit better over this way now so fingers crossed that it all works out for the best..and i will do the same...keeping you in my thoughts...stormy
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      I had to come back to comment on this...it was too hard to comment on it when I initially read it.

    All I have to say is that...you have more strength then you can even begin to imagine. Everybody does. It's just going about finding that strength. You must look into this whole world that exists within yourself. Dwelling on a love that has foregone...I have been there too. You have to give up a lot it feels to let go of just one person...when in reality you don't. Love can consume more of a person then just their heart. It consumes your whole being. It takes over and you become dependent on it. It's addictive. Then, when the love is taken away...you have withdrawals. Love is the worst drug ever.

    You have a beauty about you that you overlook every time that you look in the mirror. I know that there was once a day that you loved who you saw every time you looked at her...never lose that. NEVER. I look in a mirror every time I walk by one...it gives me a reminder that I am a beautiful person...and I don't say that from what I see externally...I say that from the whole person that I am. I WILL LET NO ONE TAKE THAT FROM ME! NO ONE!

    Look within yourself sis and find the woman that you long to see in the mirror...the mother, the daughter, the sister, the friend. You are so much more then what you choose to find within yourself. When the saying is said that there are angels on earth...there are...mend that wing and fly. Fly before you forget how.

    Much love, forever and always.

    Li
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      all this in three months? divorce? or just the plans of mariage?
    I love the way this flows. I can almost feel the heart break and the emotions that come with breaking up and loosing the one you love.
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      damn you... why i gotta read sad poems when i'm finally happy! nah, don't worry about it, my own stupidity (hello, look at the title, did you think it was gonna be happy??)

    when you come to grips with something in the middle of the poem, and then kind of lose it at the end... it's like you feel like your sanity's teetering... or that's just what i think. well, it may not be worth much but i have one thing to say.

    NO LLORAS CHICA! TUS HERMANAS ESTAMOS AQUI PARA TI CUANDO NOS NECESITAS. M'ENTIENDES??! love ya! MWAH! ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~Tayla~
    | Posted on 2005-11-30 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is just heartbreaking, yet beautiful at the same time. Beautiful because underneath the sadness and the bitter loss, there's a glimmer of hope. It doesn't seem like it now, but life will be good again. If this is the same man who stepped up for your little girl, maybe there's a chance if nothing else, that you can be friends later.
    As for the piece itself, very good form, great rhyming scheme and the words you used brought every emotion out.
    Great write,
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I think I relate to this in a totally different way...because everytime the love of my life says goodbye...and every time he leaves me feeling empty...and alone...I always know there's going to be another hello in there somewhere. I loved your title of a silent cry...I feel like that's what I do every second of ever day...you can't show your pain...but it hurts too much to totally ignore it..and that's what we get..an ache..a silent cry that never really stops. I hope everything works out for you..take care...great write. ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that is so sad.. I think the only thing I might have to say about the poem (other than it is very beautiful, and yet so heartbreaking) is that the words sometimes don't flow the same way... But that's just what I see..
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by LonelyFlower | [ Reply to This ]
      It does seem that when our heart feels the most is when our best writing comes out. This was was from the heart, sad and emotional.. and touched me deeply.
    Sometimes it's just too damn hard to "let go and move on", even when you know you should.
    Nice write,
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sad. Yeah, this was pretty worthy of that sentiment and a good perception of one aspect of the things that bring on that certain emotion. Dont you hate it when people lose faith in you? Its pretty sad, like you said here. But then ya just gotta grab a beer or do something that reminds ya..."Yeah, people may lose faith in me, but I always have faith that I can at least make people lose faith in me." HA! Get it? That keeps you from ever being able to lose faith in yourself, hee-hee!

    But then again, like you say..."Maybe you are just too sexy!"
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      This is awfully sad... wish people did not have to go through so much pain... I am currently depressed so anything I say on this one might be out of lashing out... I think it is a good poem... it shows your feelings of lonelyness and how you are stuck on this one person without being able to escape from love's grasp... It takes time and specially if it is as deep as you describe it on this one... wife... which is one of the deepest bonds there should be... marriage... life long commitment to one person... some people jump into it some people wait until it is too late... I think you just got to think about it a positive way... it is his lost anyways mami and you know that yourself... if he left you let him go because if he could not tell what a great woman he had in front of him then he is not worth your tears... Again nice write and keep writing

    Jose J. Ortiz aka Josyman
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is Sad

    All I can say is grab On to the lessons you learned in this relationship and move forward
    You have to beautiful a heart to keep it to yourself
    I know there are people just waiting to meet someone with as much heart as you
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      awww T...

    that ghetto ballerina needs to come out today...i hate seeing you so sad, but then again, that is also when you give us quality writes than show the depths of your heart. you are an amazing woman, and it is always reflected in how you carry yourself! keep your chin up girl...trust that the best is yet to come!

    your sis...deep in the heart of Texas!

    -Nikki
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]


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