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    dots Submission Name: Maybe if he continued to love medots

    Author: fightingirl19
    ASL Info:    17/F/MN
    Elite Ratio:    4.92 - 148/126/50
    Words: 440
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2963


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    dotsMaybe if he continued to love medots

    It's gone
    I'm free?
    Yet he still resides in me
    So freakwently I feel him
    In the backround
    Hardly there
    But such a presence is seen
    All through my dreams
    Like nothing has been done

    But I felt it
    It was gone
    It must be gone
    Musn't it?
    Or am I just hoping
    That it's gone
    Did I guilt myself into this?
    Is this just something...I thought I did?

    But it was gone
    I felt it
    I felt something
    Something leave me
    He said it
    I didn't feel it
    Did I?

    My dreams are no longer dreams
    But night terrors
    Reeking havok on my mind

    Is it any better this way?
    Is it just worse now?
    Maybe I've-
    What have I done?

    Maybe I've made this even worse
    How did this happen?
    How could I be this stupid

    It's like I really thought I could contain it
    Stop it before it got worse
    But before I even thought of this
    It was worse
    From the first step til now
    It's been worse
    Worse then any other past connections

    How can I just run away?
    Never say goodbye?
    I need to open my eyes
    See the problem
    Make it go away
    Why is that so hard?

    I want to scream now
    Scream at all of you
    Why couldn't you catch me?
    Before I fell so far
    Let me scream
    Hear me
    Help me understand
    Convince me
    Make me see

    Couldn't you just beat me?
    Smash my elbows in
    Pull my teeth
    Rip off my nails one by one
    Imobilize me
    Then torture me
    Anything but this

    I only wanted this
    If only it could have happend like in the books
    But it had a twist
    A deadly one
    One playing with my mind

    Did I really want this?
    This pathetic
    If even if could be said to be that...

    Did I just want him?
    The him that was
    The him that was there from the beginning
    The one who bought me those petty dresses
    All those toys
    All a little girl could want
    He gave
    I sat on his lap
    Read storybooks

    He punished me
    When I was naughty
    And stole that candy
    I learned that was bad
    But was sad
    So he held me
    And loved me
    That was my daddy

    But he is no more
    I've gotten myself into a mess
    I cannot fix
    Maybe if he continued to love me
    He would have kept me
    From being such a great fool

    Submitted on 2005-11-18 12:45:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was really good i like it alot im drawn to your writting as if it was my own. i normally dont like long poems but for you ill make an eception lol

    that girl
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by sweet sorenity | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a powerful write
    I really like how you captured that Love you had for a soulmate and then let the love carry over to the love you have for your father
    This poem ran together perfectly something I wouldnt have expected considering you were writing about two themes
    A Great Write!
    Take Care
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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