[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: She Whispersdots

    Author: Catylyx
    ASL Info:    17/F/Sand Springs
    Elite Ratio:    2.47 - 7/15/7
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 813
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1398

       poem i wrote a few months back....i had a lot of really hard times the past summer...this was my therapy. poems.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe Whispersdots

    She Whispers

    She's crying into her arms
    Hiding the tears that pool beneath them.
    "I'm sorry." she whispers to the only one who listens...

    A friend was nearly lost to her
    And another she's losing,
    but she's losing her grip, and she can't save them too.
    "I'm sorry." she whispers to the only one who listens...

    She watches a loved one fall apart
    and is helpless at what to do.
    "I'm sorry." she whispers to the only one who listens...

    Her health is fading,
    and she can't take this pain anymore.
    She prays for strength she fears she's losing,
    as she presses the pill to her lips.
    "I'm sorry." she whispers to the only one who listens...

    She holds tight to a love she's terrified of losing.
    Without it she wouldn't survive.
    "Save me." she whispers to the only one who listens...

    Her past has come back
    but she refuses to remember.
    "I'm sorry." she whispers to the only one who listens...

    She's whispering and crying, and starting to bleed,
    But she whispers to the only one who sees,

    She whispers to God.

    Submitted on 2005-11-18 13:01:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like it. It has good rythmn. If she is taking a pill though, why is she bleeding? is it for rhyme? I think that the emotions in this poem are confusing. I am not sure what is going on.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Jerilynn | [ Reply to This ]
      The strength in this prose is very obvious and subtle at the same time. I like how you were able to repeat the line " "I'm sorry." she whispers to the only one who listens..." without making it sound redundant. Great poem, I hope to read more of your stuff soon. Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by RumnMoxie | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]