You are slower than a cake of molasses.
A response from you does not come.
Hello, do you remember me?
You know the one that lives here!
What more can I do?
I am at a loss, maybe a neon sign
"'You are slower than a cake of molasses."' OLoved that line. My favourite out of your whole poem, which is probably a very good thing becuse it is the hook that keeps the reader, and the fish..lol..good job and keep writing. ~Caotic~
HaHa! What a unique write. Maybe I should remember this one when my husband is ignoring me. This was outstanding; I believe many people can relate to it. The title fit the poem very well. Thanks for making me laugh today and sharing this piece. Good Day to ya!
Hi Monica ~~~~ You are slower than a stream/creek/river of molasses I listen but cannot hear you Do you remember I am lost, my feelings, myself A rose, a rainbow, a neon sign? ~~~~
Just some silly suggestions; I'm often into cutting and keeping as little as possible, sometimes few words work more strongly, intense and give it a touch of guessing, thinking..
i love the sarcasim yet seriousness of this write at the same time...hilarious really...i got a picture in my head of someone holding a sign up trying to get a response from this other person...but i get what you mean my ex was like that it used to drive me insane...purps
Haha! I like this one. This gave me a smile as I read it. I said "Gee I have felt like this before!" Now I can see why you chose the title you did here haha! This is a most frustrating feeling indeed and waiting on someone really sucks. I like the analogy of 'slower than a cake of molasses' that describes the waiting game really well. Makes ya wanna say..."YOOO HOOO, I'm still here" haha! This is a very good vent. Short and sweet and right to the point. I would suggest a question mark at the end of your last line to emphasize the question. Otherwise, I like this one. Thanks for the smile, you probably didnt intend to make anyone smile with this but you did!Take care.
neon signs are a little expensive. i don't know. maybe a flag of some sort. that might work. it was alright. not bad. i like the cake of molasses thing. that was way cool.
It sounds like my wife on one of her 'off days' or are they MY off days? hehehe A question mark on the last line would help give that end clarification maybe, I had to look again as it through me off with its abruptness, but I am fairly simple so don't worry about it.
Good stuff it really does make think of the mrs :chuckles: V
i really don't get this one at all. can u explain it to me cuz now i feel really dumb cuz i'm sure there's like some really important meaning to this poem that i'm just not getting
its shortness contrasts with it meaning...it was one where u gotta think a litt le before u get it but thats good ..it makes ppl read over and over ...lol
Wow, a short poem, but it expresses loads of emotions! I love it! I know how you feel, I really do. I know that some people hate it when others say that to them, but sorry if I offended you, lol. I'm always getting ignored around my house. It's like I don't exist. Great write.
Submission Name: Frustration
Take care.
