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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Frustrationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mon28
    ASL Info:    29 /F /Montana
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 176/59/14
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1023
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 225



    Description:
       Just a quick vent!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrustrationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You are slower than a cake of molasses.
    A response from you does not come.
    Hello, do you remember me?
    You know the one that lives here!
    What more can I do?
    I am at a loss, maybe a neon sign




    Submitted on 2005-11-18 14:08:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      "'You are slower than a cake of molasses."'
    OLoved that line. My favourite out of your whole poem, which is probably a very good thing becuse it is the hook that keeps the reader, and the fish..lol..good job and keep writing.
    ~Caotic~
    | Posted on 2006-09-23 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
      HaHa! What a unique write. Maybe I should remember this one when my husband is ignoring me. This was outstanding; I believe many people can relate to it. The title fit the poem very well. Thanks for making me laugh today and sharing this piece. Good Day to ya!
    | Posted on 2006-09-22 00:00:00 | by gigglebox24 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Monica
    ~~~~
    You are slower than a stream/creek/river of molasses
    I listen but cannot hear you
    Do you remember
    I am lost, my feelings, myself
    A rose, a rainbow, a neon sign?
    ~~~~

    Just some silly suggestions; I'm often into cutting and keeping as little as possible, sometimes few words work more strongly, intense and give it a touch of guessing, thinking..

    Love,
    roberto

    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by roberto | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the sarcasim yet seriousness of this write at the same time...hilarious really...i got a picture in my head of someone holding a sign up trying to get a response from this other person...but i get what you mean my ex was like that it used to drive me insane...purps
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha! I like this one. This gave me a smile as I read it. I said "Gee I have felt like this before!" Now I can see why you chose the title you did here haha! This is a most frustrating feeling indeed and waiting on someone really sucks. I like the analogy of 'slower than a cake of molasses' that describes the waiting game really well. Makes ya wanna say..."YOOO HOOO, I'm still here" haha! This is a very good vent. Short and sweet and right to the point. I would suggest a question mark at the end of your last line to emphasize the question. Otherwise, I like this one. Thanks for the smile, you probably didnt intend to make anyone smile with this but you did!Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      neon signs are a little expensive. i don't know. maybe a flag of some sort. that might work. it was alright. not bad. i like the cake of molasses thing. that was way cool.
    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      It sounds like my wife on one of her 'off days' or are they MY off days? hehehe
    A question mark on the last line would help give that end clarification maybe, I had to look again as it through me off with its abruptness, but I am fairly simple so don't worry about it.

    Good stuff it really does make think of the mrs
    :chuckles:
    V
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ]
      i really don't get this one at all. can u explain it to me cuz now i feel really dumb cuz i'm sure there's like some really important meaning to this poem that i'm just not getting
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      its shortness contrasts with it meaning...it was one where u gotta think a litt le before u get it but thats good ..it makes ppl read over and over ...lol
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by jreklaw | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, a short poem, but it expresses loads of emotions! I love it! I know how you feel, I really do. I know that some people hate it when others say that to them, but sorry if I offended you, lol. I'm always getting ignored around my house. It's like I don't exist. Great write.
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]


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