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    dots Submission Name: I've Only Just Begundots

    Author: Sarah Leger
    ASL Info:    15.f.kissimmee,Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 436/387/80
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 960
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1105

       The beginning to a kind of series.
    Little emo kkid venting sort of deal I spose...
    I don't really know
    We'll see I suppose
    I really don't know how this would pretain to my life at all.
    It doesn't really.
    Just comment on it please

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI've Only Just Begundots

    Arms wide open
    I'm here standing
    There you are hoping
    Came too soon
    Lost the race
    Didn't know it would hurt
    Getting slapped in the face
    To wake up
    Safe and sound
    Warm beneath a blanket of obscurity
    How did I know it would change
    How did I know my life would rearrange
    Tears to fall
    On the floor I crawl
    Trying to catch up
    But wounded so deep
    Feeling far too emo
    Why can't I reach?
    Your moving too fast
    Quit moving away
    Can't you see I'm crying?
    Can't you see I'm dying?
    Doesn't it matter anymore?
    I'm so done,
    I'll just walk out the door.
    Leave you in peace..
    Leave you out of reach.
    it's the same old song.
    But no complaints!
    Not when you knew all along
    That we'd end up here!
    Not when you had no fear!
    I get it;
    You're done,
    But for me.
    The race has only just begun.

    Submitted on 2005-11-18 14:13:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Feeling emo lately? Oh well. It was beautiful. A true emo kid doesn't know they're emo, so I supose you arn't emo. Not that you're going to answer, but what's just begun? Only a common question. No worries, I don't expect an answer for anything.

    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting. you avtually alot of different emotions that fell into one catogory if you know what i mean. they way you wrote it was kind of choppy but thats what made it so interesting.

    Feeling far too emo

    that phrase jumped out at me which to me wasn't a good thing. it felt a bit awkward which is weird because your going for a emo rant i think. just something i caught personally. overall i thought this was well written and i wonder if by you saying the beginning of a series, i could read ones following this one. hope you got that. lovely.

    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      In this write I saw a battle that a person was having with themselves
    Kind of like right vs wrong
    You worded it very well
    And put a lot of emotin into this write
    You are a very positive person so I have no doubt in my mind good will conquer evil
    Take Care

    I want back and read A Sisters Love
    And I see in some places your right the flow is off
    I dont really look at that when I write thou usually I try and make the theme the most powerful part of the write
    and you said that was the strong point thank you for that
    Dont get me wrong
    I agree with you that the flow is very important and I will be looking at that closer in my future writes
    Thank You for pointing this out to me
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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