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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mom, What Happened To Your Sondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vanhokinshtyl
    ASL Info:    8/M/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 119/200/71
    Words: 522
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Angry
    Total Views: 1142
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3610



    Description:
       I want to know if this all goes together, I mean it's obvious what it's about, but this song/poem is just a bunch of random writings formed to make one whole, and I don't know if it all comes together in the end...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMom, What Happened To Your Sondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every sidewalk I step on,
    I'll try not to skip a crack,
    because I want to hear,
    your spine snap,
    'cause when I come home,
    you give me an argument,
    one of the only things,
    that I can win,
    I conciliate,

    You've got these unsophisticated thoughts,
    and you can't back them up,
    you scream at me,
    and continue to call it love,
    At times I wish I had something to break,
    just a fist to throw into your face,
    I suffer for your comfort

    Where's my point of view?
    I can't see where my fingers pointing,
    Because you're trying to choose for me,
    Do you wanna live my life?
    You say you've given all that I could ever want,
    and you always thought that I would end up
    the way I didn't,
    Your plans for perfection are ringing in my ear...

    So scream a little louder,
    You think you sound better
    when it's all yelled and done,
    scream a little louder,
    It's all so logical,
    in terms of sarcasm

    I try to set my goals,
    only for your acceptance,
    but you can't accept the fact,
    that I can't achieve them,
    and you'll always encourage me
    to set them higher,
    and it's a greater strictness
    with every borderline I cross,
    I guess you'll never see me for me,
    I'm everything you never wanted me to be

    Where's my point of view?
    I can't see where my fingers pointing,
    Because you're trying to choose for me,
    Do you wanna live my life?
    You say you've given all that I could ever want,
    and you always thought that I would end up
    the way I didn't,
    Your plans for perfection are ringing in my ear...

    So scream a little louder,
    You think you sound better
    when it's all yelled and done,
    scream a little louder,
    It's all so logical,
    in terms of sarcasm

    Just scream a little louder,
    If you think you'll feel better
    when it's all yelled and done,
    scream a little louder,
    To get a response,
    with a side of sarcasm

    Just stop the inferences,
    they don't make any sense,
    you form this hypothesis,
    an uneducated guess,
    I only say "I love you,"
    because I'm supposed to,
    you wonder why I stay locked up in my room,
    'cause it's my only freedom from you

    you know you've led me under the sink
    to swallow everything I can drink,
    as this medicine
    makes me sick again,
    you're the cause,
    you're fucking poison
    and you've led me into the drawer,
    to embrace anything sharp and silver,
    it's so cold on my skin,
    thick red drains down the sink again
    are you gonna cry or...
    scream, a little louder,
    for spilling blood on the floor?
    No concern for me,
    scream, a little louder,
    'cause this made a mess
    that made a stain
    that can't be cleaned
    Just fucking scream, a little louder,
    It's sad how you aren't even sure,
    if I am gone,
    just scream, a little louder,
    and have a happy mother's day,
    without a son,

    Mom, what happened to your perfect son?




    Submitted on 2005-11-18 15:02:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey there you really reflect me in your writings man. Awsome really i enjoyed the intensity of the poem/song but i would like to call it as thoughts.
    Great way to put it in a childs prospective.
    | Posted on 2008-03-25 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      Uh oh...angry mommy rant. Okay, this my maternalness already setting in - Shame on you mister! That is your mommy, and yes I understand mothers can be big mean pooheads and stomping on this cracks can really make you smile but you know that if you came home and your mother's spine was shattered you wouldn't feel so happy anymore. And plus then it would suck more anyway because you'd have to take care of her!

    Okay, sorry, sunshine - just do me a favour and never ever ever show this to your mother!

    And I'm sorry to say, but I really liked this lol
    "you always thought that I would end up
    the way I didn't,
    Your plans for perfection are ringing in my ear..."
    I get that a lot, my mom's a hs drop out and she never went to college or anything so she's always encouraging my sister and I to be what she never was.

    "It's all so logical,
    in terms of sarcasm"
    lovely my dear, just lovely.

    "I only say "I love you,"
    because I'm supposed to,
    you wonder why I stay locked up in my room,
    'cause it's my only freedom from you"
    Mean Codee! I get the last two lines, definitely get them and totally worship them - but the first two are just mean mean mean! If your mother tells you she loves you a lot just be happy for that! (My family's the kind that never says things like that...the last time my mom said that was...was...I don't know, and the last time my dad said it he was really Really drunk, and the last time my sister said it was when I got her a drink of water so she didn't have to get up off the couch about 20 minutes ago lol)

    Oh my goodness you! I just read the last stanza and eep! Shame on you! And I have the feeling (because of what a great guy you are) the your mom is the kind that would cry when she learned you were doing something like that - not scream and yell at you about how bad you're making her or her floor look.
    And I really hope you're not doing that anymore. Even if it takes you away from your problems for a while it leaves you with a scar that will always remind you of bad times.


    I'm so sorry that you feel this way, sweetheart, and I'm really hoping it was just a bad day.
    *REALLY BIG HUGE HUG*
    *mwah*
    Caribou

    p.s. I think again I've managed to leave a comment as long as your words.
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      My God this is a very deep write
    I feel and understand the feelings of regret you have
    I hope you understand that your Mother just wanted you to grow up to be a caring and Loving young man
    and You know what
    Look at yourself now
    Is that not what you are
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron

    And Thank You for the recent comments
    I felt the same way you described about my Dad for a very long time
    Now I am living with him helping Him overcome a depression
    Remember
    Change is Important
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      These are very interesting lyrics you have here. Full of angry emotions, you tell a strong story of a mother and son relationship that isnt the happiest. You provide the reader with good insight into your motivations to harm yourself and help the reader to understand the whole situation and why you are so angry and frustrated. This is well written and expressed, I see no errors that need to be fixed. I dont know if I like the last line here though. It just doesnt seem to be the most relevant to the poem. You dont really talk about how she brags about you being perfect to others or how she always though you were perfect. There really isnt any mention of it except for when you say "Your plans for perfection are ringing in my ear" In fact, I think this final line would make the most impact if you asked something like "Do you see what your strive for perfection has done". I think that fits really well, and fits the overall message here. And it rhymes as well. However, this is just my opinion and my suggestion. Other than that, I think you did a great job venting with this. You have told a complete cause and effect story with your words. Nicely done. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      whoa. this is really good. straight passion, feeling. very well written. I can so definitely relate. it's not just the normal parental criticisms, it's a lot worse what they do. i know exactly what you mean except for me it's my dad. I usually don't like the teen angst stuff but this is a lot better than most.
    Hey, maybe we can compare notes and see who's [censored] us up more. yeah.

    really good work
    Candice
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by punkgrunger27 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good, I added this to my favorites. You're a really poet, I'm glad I read this. I can definately relate to how you're feeling. My mom's always picking at me. Great write and if you ever want to talk to someone, just pm me, I'll be here.
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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