On the path to resistance, my soul sits and shivers,
Entombed on a ship with no bearing,
Achild in a maze,lost in lifes rivers,
Fuck this , fuck humanity, fuck caring.
Anxieties threads weave a shawl of oppression,
Bang goes the light in my head,
In my conscience , a bullets impression,
I`m breathing, though inside i`m dead.
Tears of my fears are bound in chains,
Temptation a fleeting reward,
The devil devours my moral remains,
Salvation i cannot afford.
As i cut deep and hard, on a whim my last wish,
A silent cry my last sound,
A baby, a boy, a man, and now here,
In this vessel,
As captain,
I drown... |
Submission Name: Ship of Insanity
you have gone with the ship metaphor in stanza one but in stanza 2 you drifted a little. which is ok you don’t have to stick with a type of metaphor if you don’t want, you can take it into different paradigms. if you wanted to stick to it, perhaps make it more solid going along with the title I would….