[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Blood Red Rosedots

    Author: smartblond
    ASL Info:    18/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 97/114/33
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 859
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1093

       I have no idea why i wrote this poem . I have no experience in the matter and i wrote more from the guys point of view even though i'm a girl. So it's pretty messed up but take a look for yourself

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlood Red Rosedots

    Nothing shows more passion
    tells of love with such compassion
    nothing dares to even
    try to compare
    to the feeling that comes
    for to which all other must succumb
    to the power of the blood red rose

    Through which no dread flows
    a flood of wind has rose
    a moment of complete repose

    Her face begins to glow
    as if she already knows
    You take out the ring
    and let it gleam
    And you take out
    the blood red rose

    The time has arose
    you choose now to propose
    just as the sun rose
    the moment seems to have froze

    The wind blows through her hair
    her skin is pale and fair
    The moment
    you will always share
    her gaze shows no despair
    and you become a pair

    To fate you your future lies
    filled wth much suprise
    though problems may arise
    as you look into each others eyes
    your love will just apprise
    until death arrives

    Submitted on 2005-11-19 13:46:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with the above comments. It was a loving piece which again flowed well. The structure was very good and told a story. I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      this is good but there is one line that doesn't fit your ryhme scheme: *so that nothing dares to compare* that ryhme is with in the line itself which is the only time but that's not a huge problem. This was really sweet...great write...there's really not much I can think of...very simplistic yet everyone understands the symoblism of a red rose so it's not a problem. good write. keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by ShyOne
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    Fasade written by jackz
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]