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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blood Red Rosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: smartblond
    ASL Info:    18/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 97/114/33
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 859
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1093



    Description:
       I have no idea why i wrote this poem . I have no experience in the matter and i wrote more from the guys point of view even though i'm a girl. So it's pretty messed up but take a look for yourself


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlood Red Rosedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nothing shows more passion
    tells of love with such compassion
    nothing dares to even
    try to compare
    to the feeling that comes
    for to which all other must succumb
    to the power of the blood red rose

    Through which no dread flows
    a flood of wind has rose
    a moment of complete repose

    Her face begins to glow
    as if she already knows
    You take out the ring
    and let it gleam
    And you take out
    the blood red rose

    The time has arose
    you choose now to propose
    just as the sun rose
    the moment seems to have froze

    The wind blows through her hair
    her skin is pale and fair
    The moment
    you will always share
    her gaze shows no despair
    and you become a pair

    To fate you your future lies
    filled wth much suprise
    though problems may arise
    as you look into each others eyes
    your love will just apprise
    until death arrives







    Submitted on 2005-11-19 13:46:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with the above comments. It was a loving piece which again flowed well. The structure was very good and told a story. I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      this is good but there is one line that doesn't fit your ryhme scheme: *so that nothing dares to compare* that ryhme is with in the line itself which is the only time but that's not a huge problem. This was really sweet...great write...there's really not much I can think of...very simplistic yet everyone understands the symoblism of a red rose so it's not a problem. good write. keep writing.
    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]


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