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    dots Submission Name: When The Dust Settlesdots

    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 644
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 813

       Couple fight... It happens... And I felt like writing about it since I have not seen it done... this is actually the one I made after accidentally shutting down the window and losing the first one which really made me mad and angry because I was putting so much in it...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen The Dust Settlesdots

    This is not love
    It is war that you speak of,
    An argument every five minutes
    It is starting to become a storm,
    Nonesensical things make us angry at each other
    and small stuff causes battles in this epic disaster,
    Yet we keep going at it not looking for a solution
    letting our actions speak for us,
    Became so cold to each other
    While still acting like nothing ever happened,
    Words fight in the air and then the assault starts
    As plates, bowls, and utensils are launched,
    I have no option but to flee and give in
    But when the dust settles,
    We both have lost our souls and hearts
    And what meant everything in our lives,
    Won a trip to a place where sadness rules
    If you can call that at all a win.

    Submitted on 2005-11-19 17:16:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yah, I can feel that one. I wouldn't say to be proud of the words, but definitely be glad knowing they're outta you. Reminds me of when most of my friends around me became an enemy over some heavy... hobbies. This piece feels like that moment; it's tellin me that there's others out there who've survived a firestorm of life and are still strong enough to tell the story again. Peace.
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by ghostknight | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah I know the feeling of this one Jose. love in all its many splendors. it’s sad when love turns into fighting there is so much hurt and regret involved. I have had my share of fights too. it you are so right how these things most of them are very nonsensical. personally I cannot remember not one thing that started the fights that I have had yet I remember the fights. I do think that is because they are not really significant (this could be just me though) and the way we take things is what drives it into a fight or into a peaceful solution. one thing that is absent from many relationships is the diplomacy between mates, the willingness to negotiate. it does make us cold and bitter. sometimes this bitter feeling sets the stage for a new fight. ever have those types of fights that seem to start one day then they end, and then sometime in the future could be a day could be a month later that haunting bitterness rears its ugly head again and another fight is born out of an issue that was once dead? holy cow that was the longest question in the world! I like that expression you have used there “words fight in the air” I never did go that far with plates, bowls, and utensils. that does remind me of a show I saw on Cops, where a man and a lady were fighting in the kitchen with food, they were covered in eggs, flour, all kinds of stuff it was nuts. yeah my Dad showed me by example if it gets too bad leave because you risk making it worse. I wish I could have followed that rule better. it hard to leave the battle especially when lady accuses her man of being a coward. I also really like that line “we both lost our souls and hearts” that is so very true that is the feeling I felt on many occasions like I died in some way or that my respect for her died. the rest is very sad Jose. over all I think it is a great piece here with some saddening events in your life and I send hopes for better day ahead. well done,

    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      love it! its a very powefull and emotional piece! ya i argue a lot wit ppl! its a painful way to end a relationship wit somebody. good job!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Utensils flying?????? I haven't tried that one...hmmmmmm...let me write that one down...I've thrown a chicken before...taken my shoe off and thrown that...yet...never a utensil...

    This was very deep. I can feel the emotion in this...even though I talk crazy!...love can make some one do the most hateful things. It really can.

    This was a very good write. Glad I came through!

    Much love,

    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      "But when the dust settles,
    We both have lost our souls and hearts"

    This piece is like you were a fly on the walls of my old house...so many times we allowed the smallest things to turn into vicious fights...the words that were spoken were worse than any blow by hands...and now we dont have a love...hell i dont even think we have a respect but *shrug* what can you do right?

    excellent write and original format.

    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very good indeed. You have done a wonderful job expressing your feelings and emotions in this poem. Relationships are so hard in so many ways. Love is really a fu cked up feeling and the love/hate line is so very thin. I know exactly what you are saying in this poem and have felt exactly what you have expressed in this poem. "Won a trip to a place where sadness rules" is a great line. How true that is and then your final line here is even better, "If you can call that a win". Very powerful poem you have penned here. Great expression of feelings and you have captured the essence of a troubled relationship perfectly. Great job with this. Take care.

    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      we have both lost our souls and hearts. i hate that.. not the line the thought of it. its soo sad. but the poem was great. it just made me sad.. i think a lot of people lose thier souls. they get older and stop caring about things that used to mean the world.
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by namesdontmatter | [ Reply to This ]
      You're right. I don't think this topic has been written quite like this before. It's sad and emotion packed.. and "real".
    Arguments that start over.. what?.. but the hurt is deep, and the words (and even dishes at times) keep flying.
    I'm just the opposite when angry or upset.. I get silent and withdrawn. Not sure if that's the better way or not. But anyway, back to your poem..

    You do lose a lot in fights.. a part of your heart and soul... and hurtful words stay, even after it's over.

    You did a great job at expressing the emotional and physical side when a couple fights.

    Well done!
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      That says a lot. Every line is so powerful (not a word I use often, so it's a pretty strong compliment). I can't relate... I am too good at avoiding an argument. I dont know how great that is though. It kind of made me sad. I don't know why. I guess its because I can really feel what youre saying, just by the way you wrote it.

    The line "As plates, bowls, and utensils are launched" made me smile a little bit. And the end almost made me cry. Very nicely done (as always).

    You still dont show up on my buddy list and I have no idea why. But dont be offended if I never IM you first. Its just cause I dont know youre there.

    Anywho, again, I really like this. Great job

    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]

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