Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rose Petals Beneath Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: CaramelCandy
    ASL Info:    37 Female NYC
    Elite Ratio:    6.07 - 118/144/57
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1594
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1587



    Description:
       The beauty of nature....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRose Petals Beneath Medots
    -------------------------------------------



    Let me waltz among the wild flowers, roses and lillies;
    caressing my smooth tanned legs.
    Let the petals open to greet my presence
    as I smell each within the garden.
    In gliding through a prism of colors
    and pleasant odours to enliven the soul;
    I bow before my Creator
    to thank Him for his works of gold.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Velvet Rose Petals accentuate my path
    of undeniable desires to love.
    Fanciful bliss awaits at the end
    of this beautifully displayed mirage.
    Where my longing dreams are fulfilled
    and the darkness overpowered by light;
    My heart will tread onward
    to find the meaning of life.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Let the sunflowers play a symphony
    for the wind that brushes by;
    let them kiss in harmony to a song
    old in tune for courting lovers strolling by.
    My melancholy shall be abolished
    ever so polished and refined;
    with rhythmic melodies --
    a cosmic symposium of colloquy.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Let me lie 'neath Rose Petals
    ever so carelessly; free from all burdens,
    troubles, and horrors entrapping me.
    My mind to ponder on lovely things
    like a magical garden to release my pain.
    Let the oils of Rose Petals 'neath me
    rattle my senses to enhance--
    my feeling of well-being.

    Posted : 11/20/05, Saby Rodriguez





    Submitted on 2005-11-19 23:17:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey,

    I was really attracted to this title so i had to read and see what it was all about. I love when nature is being portrayed the way you did. It shows true beauty by what has been created by our creator. Just wonderfully done. Wanted to highlight that.

    You made the first sentence so beautiful...the waltz is a wonderful dance that can be admired for many centuries. it shows sophistication and grace. the waltz among the most admired flowers is well put. The opening of every petal as you come close is also a beautiful image to imagine just to smell the scent hidden inside those petals. Then you look at the different colors each flower has and the uniqueness behind every flower just shows greater admiration for nature. The final sentence in the first stanza finishes the idea perfectly. This bow for the creator.

    The velvet rose petals to start off the second stanza was the perfect way to begin. Then the explanation behind that velvet rose showing this undeniable desire to love ( now i know why people give roses to others). The mirage is a very true statement. I liked this a lot. It expressed a lot of meaning there. I also loved the part where dreams are able to be fulfilled by nature and that light overthrows the darkness. Happiness rises in my mind. Then another perfect sentence to finish the second stanza...trying to find the true meaning of life. We are all here to find that meaning...i am trying to find that meaning...lol.

    The third stanza...i was like wow...the air and wind brushing through the flowers playing this wonderful music in the garden...almost looks as though you were in paradise.

    the fourth stanza states all of the above and the desire to rid yourself of all nightmares this earth also has to offer. It seems to me that the horrors of life is so much bigger than the beauty of life and that we focus more on the darkness and remember all these awful events more than the focus on happiness. Anyhow, you finished the poem wonderfully "the feeling of well-being". I long for that too.

    This piece is a work of art. I wouldn't change anything because it is beautiful the way it is. You sure had some kind of magnetic inspiration to write such a thing. This is going as my fav.

    Take care...Irina
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent, bravo, bravo! Really, although I am supposed to have some sort of critique here, I am truly lost for words. This is spectacular and I see no improvements that need to be made. I had pictures spiraling about in my mind, and the feelings just entrapped me! This is a wonderful, wonderful poem and should really be featured somehow. Exceptional work!
    | Posted on 2005-11-20 00:00:00 | by Raging Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      Now this is poetry. Beautiful in every sense.

    I am not much into nature poems but you have
    opened my eye here.

    You have touched on four of the senses to enrich your write. A journey to find the meaning of life while taking in everything around you at the same time. I felt as if i was walking beside you as you strolled within a flower garden.
    Releasing yourself to the beauty of nature and letting it guide you on your journey.
    This is a very good example of what a poem is supposed look and sound like.
    If the reader is able to imagine themselves in the poem and feel and see all that the writer has described, then it is a very good write.
    You have done all this and more.

    Awesome write here.

    Greatest Admiration for this one

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not one for nature poems, anyone can see that by reading my work, but i like this. wait scratch that, i LOVE this. I can not find a single thing i want to change..and with everything i read i normally find at least one thing in my head that i would change...and this has nothing at all. It was very well done all and all and made me feel warm and fuzzy as if it were summer and i was out in the garden. ^_^

    Akai_ame
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Akai_Ame | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    81675

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry