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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: unhearddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: my pain
    ASL Info:    16/F/aust
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 191/123/39
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 862
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 427



    Description:
       ok well this one is just a mix of feels i was feeling at the time...a little on the weird side.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsunhearddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dreaming of nothing,
    One...just one voice keeping me sane,
    From fear, something,
    That has penetrated deep within my mind.

    waiting for just a while,
    To see the glittering lies,
    Of my smile..
    Shadowed helplessly in regret.

    Nothing left to give,
    Cruel words...no more pain,
    Blood, cuts no reason left to live,
    My devious mistake.




    Submitted on 2005-11-20 00:42:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      not only did you manage to write such an emotion filled poem but also you rhymed it... WOW
    can'f really find anything wrong with it
    make it longer, put more details into it if possible
    john*
    4.5/5
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      THis was another cool write...I really think the only thing you could improve on here is go on farther...I really liked and find myself wanting more from this one. I loved the last line though...I honestly don't know how you come up with the right words so often:) keep writing.
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it, but I think you can make it better. When I read the last stanza I was kind of like: That's it? Maybe a couple more stanzas can help. I do like the first stanza, it pulls you in, but I was left wanting more.
    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-11-20 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, this is good! i like the way you use your words, just one thing i think it is a bit muddled and hard to follow the first time its read.
    your emotion shines through it and shows you r hurting
    keep up your work!
    | Posted on 2005-11-20 00:00:00 | by dark silence | [ Reply to This ]


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