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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Awake to Hurtdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MysterydarkPoet
    ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
    Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157/295/173
    Words: 274
    Class/Type: Lyrics/What you did
    Total Views: 822
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1845



    Description:
       Idk it's my first song- maybe i should stick to writing poems....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAwake to Hurtdots
    -------------------------------------------


    VERSE 1:
    Intoxicated in your presence,
    She never really owned herself
    Poisened by your words
    But now it’s all undone…

    VERSE 2:
    Took till the end of time
    To find what she really believed
    Took till the end of her days to see
    That you were never there,
    And that you never really cared……

    CHORUS:
    Well it’s about time-
    For her eyes are open now-
    She was lost but now she is found…
    She can see-
    Wide and open now-
    She can see-
    And as far as you’re concerned-
    Your gone…..

    VERSE 3:
    Awake to the stick,
    the one you beat her with
    The pain you cause
    The hurt that you brought
    It's all lingering now-
    But she knows what your about...

    VERSE 4:
    The damage and the hurt
    The pain you inflicted on her-
    You brought this onto her-
    And now she’s learned to speak-
    To tell you to go
    Her voice that was hidden
    Is now found-
    Now that she has learned-
    As far as she’s concerned-
    You’re gone...

    CHORUS:
    Well it’s about time-
    For her eyes are open now-
    She was lost but now she is found…
    She can see-
    Wide and open now-
    She can see-
    And as far as you’re concerned-
    Your gone…..

    Your gone… Your gone your gone your gone….. Your fucking gone!

    Well it’s about time-(it's about time)
    For her eyes are open now- (open)
    She was lost but now she is found…
    She can see-
    Wide and open now-
    She can see-
    And as far as you’re concerned-
    Your gone…(your gone)

    .........


    Your gone....




    Submitted on 2005-11-20 19:31:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It's quite a powerful song and to be honest the lyrics aren't my cup of tea but life is a rich tapestry I always say and it obviously means something important to you. You do (if writing lyrics) need to consider a set structure your verses vary in length quite drasticly which makes it difficult to form any tune to go with the lyrics, you can of course use a couple of varying riffs for verses if needs be but you should stick to a set number of lines for each one. If you see what I mean.

    Peace
    V

    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ]
      there were parts that were a bit overused such as
    For her eyes are open now-
    She was lost but now she is found.
    but other than that it was a great piece.
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by namesdontmatter | [ Reply to This ]
      its is very powerful! and its a great use of words. the only thing i dont like is that u used "[censored]" i dont think it fits in the lyrics. is there by any chance that this happened to you?? cause if it did u have really expressed yourself clearly
    | Posted on 2005-11-20 00:00:00 | by dark silence | [ Reply to This ]


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    81754

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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