Description: Idk it's my first song- maybe i should stick to writing poems....
Awake to Hurt -------------------------------------------
VERSE 1:
Intoxicated in your presence,
She never really owned herself
Poisened by your words
But now it’s all undone…
VERSE 2:
Took till the end of time
To find what she really believed
Took till the end of her days to see
That you were never there,
And that you never really cared……
CHORUS:
Well it’s about time-
For her eyes are open now-
She was lost but now she is found…
She can see-
Wide and open now-
She can see-
And as far as you’re concerned-
Your gone…..
VERSE 3:
Awake to the stick,
the one you beat her with
The pain you cause
The hurt that you brought
It's all lingering now-
But she knows what your about...
VERSE 4:
The damage and the hurt
The pain you inflicted on her-
You brought this onto her-
And now she’s learned to speak-
To tell you to go
Her voice that was hidden
Is now found-
Now that she has learned-
As far as she’s concerned-
You’re gone...
CHORUS:
Well it’s about time-
For her eyes are open now-
She was lost but now she is found…
She can see-
Wide and open now-
She can see-
And as far as you’re concerned-
Your gone…..
Your gone… Your gone your gone your gone….. Your fucking gone!
Well it’s about time-(it's about time)
For her eyes are open now- (open)
She was lost but now she is found…
She can see-
Wide and open now-
She can see-
And as far as you’re concerned-
Your gone…(your gone)
It's quite a powerful song and to be honest the lyrics aren't my cup of tea but life is a rich tapestry I always say and it obviously means something important to you. You do (if writing lyrics) need to consider a set structure your verses vary in length quite drasticly which makes it difficult to form any tune to go with the lyrics, you can of course use a couple of varying riffs for verses if needs be but you should stick to a set number of lines for each one. If you see what I mean.
there were parts that were a bit overused such as For her eyes are open now- She was lost but now she is found. but other than that it was a great piece.
its is very powerful! and its a great use of words. the only thing i dont like is that u used "[censored]" i dont think it fits in the lyrics. is there by any chance that this happened to you?? cause if it did u have really expressed yourself clearly
Submission Name: Awake to Hurt
