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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: White Picket Fencesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Indigo Kid
    ASL Info:    33/f/everywhere
    Elite Ratio:    3.73 - 428/438/115
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1163
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1191



    Description:
       A love that is growing away from me from something that recently happened and I am devestated


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhite Picket Fencesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    And it seems that no tears
    In the form of words from my
    Quivering and shocked lips
    Can make you and yours feel
    The amount of love I have
    Inside of me for you.

    And it seems that no amount of
    Lyrical words or heartfelt motions
    Can make you feel the way you have
    In the so long distance past
    That is captured in photos
    That I hold dear in my mind.

    And I feel sometimes that a
    Complete stranger could hand you
    My beating heart,almost out of life,
    And you might toss it aside
    As if I am as nothing
    As the air you breathe.

    And I am not sure if you will love
    Me tomorrow or if you even or
    Ever did and that maybe
    I have this pipe dream of
    White picket fences dancing through my
    Mind as the Plum Fairies from childhood.

    And I still feel that I am silly for
    Even thinking these things and also
    That I am retarded for not and all I
    Really want is to have you by my side
    With the warmth of your soul
    And the beating of us inside of you
    Once again.




    Submitted on 2005-11-20 23:22:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is wonderful. I love the imagery, and the idea it gives you. You can feel the passion in this poem as though it were saturating the computer screen and very much like chloroform. It seeps into your soul.

    I'll be keping up with you - of this you may be assured.
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by racconeyes | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautifully writen. I like the way you convey your emotion throught this. I can touch base with you on this, getting married and divorced in 2004. This has no flow, in some places it runs together completely, but at the same time it still says what your tying to say. I like the reference to "pipe dream of white picket fences" It makes me thing of the american dream of the little house, 2.3 kids a dog, an suve, and a lil white picket fence. Which some of us do long for.
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by ThisIsReal | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful I will agree but not in a happy sense.

    Again I feel empty is the emotion of the day and for good reason with what I can gather.

    I really don't know if true blue love relly burns out but I am getting this from you.
    I guess what I really want to say is I am sorry for the feelings you are having these days.

    ~shawn
    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with anticlownperson
    This truefully is a very beautiful write
    Hopefully by writing it the emotion you let out will help you to heal
    Thank you for sharing this
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really beautiful. There's so much emotion inside your words, but at the same time, it's sort of muted, as though you're trying not to let it show. As if you're reciting this to someone and trying to keep your voice from breaking. I think that's amazing that you could have such a quality to the writing itself.

    I know that a lot of people can probably relate to this poem. I can't say that I can persoonally, but if I could, I would be saying the same thing, and taking the blame for what happened.

    Excellent poem, so beautiful, I love it.

    Cheers,
    Azael
    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by Anticlownperson | [ Reply to This ]


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