Description: This is about a girl who makes me doubt that there's any value in laws, in wit, in cynical observation and careful action.
she makes me wonder why hard consonants exist in language. she makes me think the only language worth speaking is french, but it's not worth using when one can find a guitar.
Firefly you always were -------------------------------------------
I used to chase fireflies at night
Up and down and left and right
They danced to silent music
And seduced me with child’s light
I asked Mom if I could maybe
Be one please please and please . . .
My mom laughed so softly
No, you can’t obviously . . .
But mom would never say
What I didn’t know yet anyway.
I always asked my dreams
If they would please please stay . . .
A firefly wouldn’t ever wonder
If dreams would fall asunder
It would nurse them, and never
doubt the beauty in blunder.
When I was young I knew-
-though what I can’t be sure-
something you never forgot
‘Fly that you always were…
this is beautiful and i have a song in mine called "Firefly" i hope you check it out and like it, but anywho... this was very nice and seriously like it alot. im not usually into rhyming though. but nice work. sorry i dont have much to say.
beautifully done. I really enjoyable piece. Considering that you are like a dictionary I doubt you have any mistakes- even if you did I couldnt find them-
I love the simplicty of it. The depth that you still bring out by making us think, wonder, question.
'A firefly wouldn’t ever wonder If dreams would fall asunder It would nurse them, and never doubt the beauty in blunder.'
.. if only.
I love the last line. It makes me wish, hope. I really like this poem alot. You did a wonderful job ~jennifer
Such a passionate poem, a very innocently inviting poem. I almost got lost in it lucky for me i am so full of alpha maleness that i did not see a bright eyed child on a pitch feild surrounded by fireflies and being lost in the simple beauty. You almost caught me slipping though Good write!
Very strongly written poem. I can see how it would be a metaphore for a girl, but if you didn't ention it in the description, i cirtainly would not have guessed that. the lines,
"It would nurse them, and never doubt the beauty in blunder."
and
"When I was young I knew- -though what I can’t be sure-"
The last two lines of the poem definitly tie it in with what seems to be the present, but are abstract enough to allow the reader to fill in what they are looking for. All in all, a very good poem.
Its really beautiful. I like your imagry. Now.. the about a girl part i totally didn't get unless she's like 4 or she makes you feel innocent or less jaded.. otherwise I hath no idea.. but that's just me. The major themes I got from it were Wisdom and Innocence. Kind of like those kids that are dying have.. you see them on Oprah all the time I KNOW you do. Not dissing on them just using it as an example. I don't really like happy poems, or inspirational, whatever you want to call it. But this one is really good. I think it would and has spoke to at least me because hell, we've all been little and wanting to be something we can't be, wanting to stay in a dream, and not understanding why we couldn't. It's basic and touches on I think, trust, hope, and dreams. However, I don't quite get your ending. It didn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem. Anyway, I don't understand how it fits in with the girl. Like I already said. But I get themes of innocence and wisdom with lines like,
"They danced to silent music And seduced me with child’s light"
But then again, that line confuses me cause seduce usually is associated with things more... potent I suppose. And it seems like youre talking in past like you were a child so the childs light doesn't make sense... However the innocence is still there I spose. Anyway, pretty spiffalicious babe. Good work
Submission Name: Firefly you always were
