Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Social Suicide

Author: Aj
ASL Info:    21/M/MI
Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 102 /110 /29
Words: 181
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1366
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1159


You don't know what you have until it's gone...

Social Suicide

my only friend is my brain
and it's driving me insane
left out here because i felt
stuck out in the pooring rain
i'll be myself stick to my plan
outside your social klan
regret these words no where to turn
i'm alone i have no friends
stop this war erase the score
i once was your friend before
everyone turned there back
no longer friends anymore
i don't know why i feel this way
i need some friends to help
but they're all gone i'm all alone
all this sorrow to myself
these words are said behind closed doors
each side has drawn there line
eveyone stands with you
though no one here is right
all by my lonesome
i hate this empty feeling
all by myself no one to help
i'm coeping and i'm dealing
please lets just end this now
give a hand and help me out
i was there when you were down
and now i'm all gone
we've met our end
friends don't hate friends
sincerely yours,
please be well

Submitted on 2004-04-23 14:52:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This ones hard to read. It just seems really long. I mean the imagery was great, but i was struggling(well maybe that was just my attention span. lol) I really don't know what to say about this one
| Posted on 2004-04-23 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]
  Good flow... some grammar errors but that's the least I'd expect since poetry breaks most rules.
-everyone stands with you
though no one here is right- Didnt understand this at first but then I knew what you were expressing. So many people though it just doesn't feel like they can do anything, i know that feeling tho i get it when im around everyone many times:/. Anyways, I don't know if you believe in God but it helps because, it happened to me once. I was all alone in a place with no1 I knew and I didn't want to talk to them because I just wanted to be with my "friends" that werent there.... so I tried to talk to Him and i felt like i realy was talking with Him and soothed my spirit and i got the force i needed to go on. I've never stopped believing and even though I'm all alone and no1 understands me even if I don't fake it, i don't care what others do, think or say because the Lords understand me. my pain and everything else. Cheer up ! Even if you can't take your "friend/s" of your mind and your life there is someone else that wants to be with you and that loves you! And best of all, you don't have to hide anything from Him.
Hope the best for you, Depdem X
| Posted on 2004-04-23 00:00:00 | by Depdem | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?