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    dots Submission Name: Torn Awaydots

    Author: Sarah Leger
    ASL Info:    15.f.kissimmee,Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 436/387/80
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1037

       tell me what you think.
    An angel placed on Earth without knowing who and what they are. Upon discovering they abuse the privelage and end up giving everything up. When this happens she is brought before God. Her wings are torn away from her and the people who offered no guidance turn their backs.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTorn Awaydots

    two faced
    sewn together
    just to be worn
    heart to heart
    death to your soul
    two lost loves
    filling the fishbowl
    tainting the water
    filled with blood
    don't you love it
    when the red water runs?
    hopeless til the end
    Can't you see?
    it's how you die
    that kills me

    Once an angel
    wings torn away
    ripped from your spirit
    dripping blood
    down your flesh
    writhe in your agony
    the pain still fresh
    How you scream!
    Bathing in the pool
    You made the choice
    to be placed in front of the judge
    No longer proud

    Purity dirtied
    Purity littering the ground
    Mixed with the dust
    A halo once to guide
    Torched above your head
    Blind eyes cried
    They turn their back
    You crawl away

    Saving your tears
    For their Judgement Day

    Submitted on 2005-11-22 12:51:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was beautiful Sarah. Like always. It showed a lot that has been going on with you. Even though it might not be my place to say this but, I'm sorry for everything. I love you.
    Amazing write, even though thats nothing new.

    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]
      to be completely blunt and honest with you, I liked your comments more then the poem itself. Now dont take my being frank as an insult... The poem was also quite enjoyable...just not quite as poetic as your comments. keep on keepin on

    much love,
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by angelfyre | [ Reply to This ]
      very graphic, the subject matter here is something I find very interesting, I've been trying to work up a piece on fallen angels myself, check it out if you get the opportunity, it's called "fallen instrument" (actually there are two parts)...anywho, enough 'bout me eh? like I said I thought this was very interesting, it could almost be about an actual angel or a human dealing with two sides of him or herself, did you intend it to be that way? if so, very nice, if not, very nice anyway. The only thing that I didn't quite understand was the concept of the fishbowl, wasn't sure what you meant by it, also if the judge you are reffering to is THE judge, you should capatilize Judge...other than that, solid write...keep it up

    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a beautiful peice of tragedy. shows that there is always two sides too every one person. this poem seems to be filled with more scorn towards something unlike your other write that seem a bit depressing, this one has hatred all through it.

    i liked this write truley a peice of art in my chaotic realm i call reality.

    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]

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