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Author: Jingles
ASL Info:    19.m.canada
Elite Ratio:    2.08 - 18 /60 /36
Words: 167
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1147
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1145


Tell me what you think about this poem...and what I should do next time...the meanings pretty self explanitory.


shattered reflections through broken glass,
Eternal scars laid through a disfigured past.
Deep blue eyes, the secrets they hold,
Frozen whispers my breath shall unfold.
Crusified tears within cascading dreams,
Satiated cravings torn at the seams.
Eternal monstrosity, yearning to consume,
Internal conflicts sustaining to bloom.
Carnal desires, have now overcame,
This burden I've become shall suffer the blame.
I no longer see me inside of this mirror,
I see the darkness that Ive come to fear.
These once deep blue eyes, now black as my heart,
No sanity remains to have fallen apart.
These lips once filled with hope, now drip in conceit,
This fear welling up, as my past continues to repeat.
All over again, these mistakes are reborn,
Crimson silent echoes, remain to be torn.
Enveloped in misery, these pools wont let me forget,
These external scars, I will forever regret.
Yet again, I open my eyes, I refuse to be blind,
As I face this reality, Ive been forced to leave behind...

Submitted on 2005-11-22 16:54:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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4: Pretty cool
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  you write with such emotion and beauty. I love it. never stop...i'm sorry for the current pain that you are going thru right to me about it sometime. bye
| Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]
  This had an excellent flow, truthfully, I wouldn't change anything about it if I were you. The vocabulary and choice of words made this write more, what's the word...ellaborate, yeah, ellaborate. It was very beautiful and I really hope to see more, great job!
| Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  This had a nice and accommodating flow to it but I found the space between lines distracting but that's just personal format opinion.

You have a great use of vocabulary here and although it's a theme we see a lot of this was well done. Why don't you do a piece on what the other side of the mirror see's back - into this world.
Love,Peace,Joy ~ Know,Experience,BE! tif

Welcome to Elite and
| Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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