Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let my lips unlearn your namedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maverique
    ASL Info:    25/F/Own little world
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 438/478/128
    Words: 55
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1037
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 424



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet my lips unlearn your namedots
    -------------------------------------------


    let my lips unlearn your name.
    let my fingers untrace
    your smile,
    your photograph-face.
    let my eyes
    devour not
    hungrily, every word
    nor mistakenly read
    anything
    more than words,
    less than real.
    my heart - let it beat
    unhindered
    by thoughts of you.
    let my mind dwell
    not
    on you.
    let me love you
    not.




    Submitted on 2005-11-22 21:15:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i chose to read this poem purely on the the basis of how many comments it had recieved, yeah, cheeky, i know. but, it's true.
    this is Poetry Perfection!!
    i love the way you want to 'undo' feelings this person has made you feel. makes things easier when we're not blinded or led by our hearts.
    for such a short poem, it has everything.
    this show true talent.
    i am in awe.
    whirl**
    | Posted on 2006-09-27 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      omg reading this poem sends major chills down my spine. and gives me goose bumps. I'm guessing thats a good thing.
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by Is this love? | [ Reply to This ]
      The sense of the unraveling of a relationship by undoing all that was done is very well framed here. You are very careful here to mask the pain with an almost surgical or clinical examination of the problem and the obvious solution. This was quite clever in presentation and form.
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      very good this is going to be a fav. this poem is really good. i love ur writing style and you are very talented. they way u express ur feelings on paper is amazing. theres no way to explain it. but its amazing. great write!
    an [x] to an {oh}
    Kel
    | Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by bleedinbabygrl8 | [ Reply to This ]
      It is beautiful, I love the way you break up the lines. I have nothing but praise for you on this piece. The wording too, in itself is a masterpiece, together with the order and the chaos of the piece, along with an obviously brilliant writer makes it spectacular,
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by ZXDPrince | [ Reply to This ]
      You have a poetic style. I like that because it's becoming very rare in poetry nowadays. Nope. Can't find any criticisms. Brief yet emotional, simple yet elegant, nicely written, nicely layed out. Well done.

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      THANK YOU FOR EXISTING!

    finally a poem on here that i don't cringe at.
    this is beautiful, and i'm sure everyone at one time or another has felt what you're emoting here.

    the title in itself is pure genius. i have never been so praising in my life.

    at times it can be a little askew, chaotic, and what not, but i think that only adds to its masterful construction, representing the unpredictability and the lack of control you have when in lust/love.


    bravo

    <333
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by jeffiner | [ Reply to This ]
      this is at the same time beautiful and saddening. It reminds me of the point in a dead-end relationship where you finally are so tired of fighting and begging and apologizing and trying and confiding and compromising until theres simply nothing left to give but your blood and life... that point where you have to finally say "[censored] it" and give up. this poem reminds me of how you feel when you <i><b>feel like</i></b> you've invested so much time and effort and energy, that could've been used for more constructive things, all to find out that it was doomed to fail anyway...

    A very well written piece which brings about very vivid emotional rememberances...
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by lynxstarfire | [ Reply to This ]
      you have wriiten a masterpiece in my book!
    this is the best poetry i've read in so long.i absolutely love the title...but i aslo love the whole thing!
    greatttt work.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
      wow it is very beautiful ..i love it definately one of my favorites .. i love it .. well .. good choice of words and well strutured.. thanks for sharing and keep on writing
    and if you have time please take a look to my writing and comment..
    take care!
    and peace and love!
    Victor!
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      This is nicely done. This is among your best, so you should be proud. To pick the runtiest of nits, in "my heart - let it beat," you should have a hyphen instead of a dash. Good job, Amy
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    81999

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry